Trip from Hell

[Jack Hexter]

My son just returned from a trip from hell, transporting a boat from Venezuela to Key Largo. Not only did the seas not cooperate (15' in the Stream), but the second captain the owner hired to make the trip did not disclose he had terminal cancer and they had to put him in a hospital in Puerto Rico where he received 4 pints of blood before flying him home His girlfriend wrote the poem to the tune of Jingle Bells, during the trip


Dashing through the snow---------This wind won’t go away,
In a one horse open sleigh--------Looks like we’re here to stay,
O'er the fields we go---------Have no fear, we’ve still got beer,
Laughing all the way---------------We’ll leave another day!
Bells on bob tails ring--------------Stuck in this hellhole
Making spirits bright---------------Might as well rig up our poles
What fun it is to laugh and sing Make my wish for a big ol' fish
A sleighing song tonight------------and hit some Marlin holes

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells----Oh damn those swells,damn those swells
Jingle all the way------------------cant get out todaaaay,
Oh, what fun it is to ride----we'll make some cheer and drink more beer
In a one horse open sleigh------But the big one got awaaaay,
Jingle bells, jingle bells----------Damn those swells, damn those swells
Jingle all the way---------------We'll get home someday
Oh, what fun it is to ride----we'll make some cheer and buy more beer
In a one horse open sleigh------to drink on this lay day


A day or two ago---------------Captain came up top
I thought I'd take a ride---------Called us a scurvy lot
And soon Miss Fanny Bright------Ordered us to wash and scrub
Was seated by my side----------and tighten up our knots!
The horse was lean and lank-----We're dashing through the sea,
Misfortune seemed his lot--------With the wind straight at our bow,
We got into a drifted bank-------If I don't get home 2 days from now,
And then we got upsot------My girl will have a cow!

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells--- Oh damn those swells, damn those swells
Jingle all the way------------we're headed out today
Oh, what fun it is to ride-----Oh what fun is it to ride
In a one horse open sleigh----in a beat up old SeaRay HEY!!!
Jingle bells, jingle bells--------damn those swells, damn those swells
Jingle all the way-------------we're headed out right now
Oh, what fun it is to ride----- drank all the beer, Can't see to steer
In a one horse open sleigh----But we're getting out of here, yeah!

Jingle bells, jingle bells--------Damn those swells, damn those swells
Jingle all the way-------------Damn those big bad waves
Oh, what fun it is to ride------Oh what fun is to leave
In a one horse open sleigh----that beat up old SeaRay, Hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells--------Damn those swells, damn those swells
Jingle all the way-------------damn those freakin winds!
Oh, what fun it is to ride------Oh how great to see my date
In a one horse open sleigh----And make some carnal sins

[MAKO19]

Hope that dude is alright. And man that was a funny song. Way better than the original version.

[N2theBlue]

yeah that song is freakin funny.