adventure cruising... the latest rave

[Capt. Jon Tennant]

Somali cruise package


I found a Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the
Sudan) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania). The cost is a bit high @
US $800 per person double occupancy but I didn't find that offensive.
What I found enticing is that the cruise company is encouraging people
to bring their 'High powered weapons' along on the cruise.


If you don't have weapons, you can rent them right there on the boat.
They claim to have a master gunsmith on board and will have reloading
parties every afternoon. The cruise lasts from 4-8 days and nights and
costs a maximum of $3200 per person double occupancy (4 days). All the
boat does is sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get
hijacked by pirates. Here are some of the costs and claims associated
with the package:


0A$800.00 US/per day double occupancy (4 day max billing).

M-16 full auto rental $25.00/day ammo at 100 rounds of 5.56 armor
piercing ammo at $15.95.

AK-47 riffle @ no charge, ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 com block ball
ammo at $14.95.


Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper rifle rental $55.00/day ammo at 25 rounds
50 cal armor piercing at $9.95.



Crew members can double as spotters for $30.00 per hour (spotting
scope included).

They even offer RPG's at $75 bucks and $200 for three standard loads.


"Everyone gets use of free complimentary night vision equipment and
coffee and snacks on the top deck from 7pm-6am."

Meals are not included but seem reasonable.

Most cruises offer a mini-bar... these gung ho entrepreneurs
offer......... get this.....


"MOUNTED MINIGUN AVAILABLE @ $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire".


They advertise group rates and corporate discounts......and even claim
"FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY"

They even offer a partial money back if not satisfied....here's some
text from the ad.


"We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts
by pirates or we will refund back half your money including gun rental
charges and any unused ammo (mini gun charges not included). How can
we guarantee you will experience a hijacking? We operate at 5 knots
within 12 miles of the c
oast of Somalia.


If an attempted Hijacking does not occur we will turn the boat around
and cruise by at 4 knots. We will repeat this for up to 8 days making
three passes a day along the entire length of Somalia.


At night the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at
intervals and loud disco music beamed shore side to attract attention.
Cabin space is limited so respond quickly. Reserve your package
before April 29 and get 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber
of your choice.


As if all that isn't enough to whet your appetite, there were a few
testimonials:

"I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I'll never hunt big game
in Africa again. I felt like the Komandant in Schindlers list!"----
Lars, Hamburg Germany


"Six attacks in 4 days was more than I expected. I bagged three
pirates and my 12 yr old son sank two rowboats with the minigun.
PIRATES 0 -PASSENGERS-32! Well worth the trip. Just make sure your
spotter speaks English"

----Ned, Salt Lake city, Utah USA

"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in NAM. Don't
worry about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to
the ship with those weapons they use and their shitty aim--reminds me
of a drunken 'juicer' door gunner we picked up from the motor pool
back in Nam"

----"choppe
r' Dan, Toledo USA.

"Like ducks in a barrel. They turned the ship around and we saw them
bleed and cry in the water like little girls. Saw one wounded pirate
eaten by sharks--what a laugh riot!! This is a must do".

[Flatdog]

What no belt fed semi auto 20mm nade launchers? And air back up mmmmmmmmmmm....
How about ww11 flame throwers now you talking , just to see those mothers jump back into the sea to put the flames out
That would be a good safari....

[burricane]

that's hilarious. sign me up right now