Our Greatest Male moments

[Glenn W]

With the wind blowing as it is, might as well hear some funny true stories. Let's talk about the biggest (or dumbest as the case may be) lies we've told our loved ones in order to go fishing.
Two come immediatley to mind for me.

(1) A couple years ago, I had been running the roads to Hatteras and Morehead almost every weekend during spring and early summer meatfishing. Now my SWMBO is pretty understanding about this fishing nonsense, but my absence every single weekend was wearing thin.
Then,--- middle of July and out of nowhere---- totally unexpected--- who would have ever thought---- I remember it was a Wedensday--- The White Boys Are in Town in Hatteras in a Big Way. Well shit. Tuna Taxi calls me about 30 nano seconds after the news hits.
"Can't do it bro--- wife is on my ass big time"------ news break +90 nano seconds--- "I'll figure out something will meet you in Hatteras Friday night."
Now this is what separates mortal men from men who fish--- bullshit time---- gotta come up with something, Gesus God, there were at least 30 rags fling at Hatteras Harbor today.
Light bulb went off and I had a plan--
"Honey, you're right I've been spending way too much time away from you on the weekends, let's just me and you go to the beach for a romantic weekend--- no rods, no reels, no bait. Just me, you, a big bottle of wine, and you can even bring one of those faggot saxaphone longhair CDs."
" Not a single fishing pole will be brought?"
"Nope, I promise honey".
Well, we had to leave a Richmond a tad early to make sure we got to the village before all the rags came down for the evening-- told her something about having to get her a clam bake in a can for our romantic beach dinner or some shit.
As we enter the Village and round the bend at the fire house the rags were flying---- a wall of Blue flags proudly displayed at the Harbor.
"Oh my God honey, look at all the White Marlin they got today"
Onward to Teaches--- " Great day in the morning honey, it is going on offshore."
Pull into Hatteras Landing to let her shop or something--- my idea. Strolling the dock the halyards were strung in Blue linen.

"Bill!!!!!! how da hell are ya, I didn't know you were coming down. You remember Brenda don't ya?"
"Dude, I don't think I've ever heard of a day like this--- the White Marlins were chewing the names off the sterns"

Ok, time for the MASTER to get to work---- biggest, saddest puppy dog face ever seen on a man----"yea, I see. But I promised my lovely bride a weekend with just the 2 of us"
Well, SWMBO knows that I would be a bigger cry baby than an orphan in a candy store, so---- "you nasty, low down, coniving piece of shit---- given me your credit card and you go fishing--- no, not that one--- nope not that on either, I want the Plantum one"
"Okey doeky Bill, how many dinks you got rigged so far?, and are my reels in the salon or in the foreward stateroom."

#2 to follow

[WAHOONBOX]

I REMEMBER A FEW YEARS AGO YOU COMMENTED ABOUT A CORONA BIKINI.....AND UNBEKNOWN TO YOU MISTER SLICK...THE SWMBO WAS READING YOUR INTERNET RESPONSE !!!!

[Jared D]

hahahaha.... too funny.
Being as I am only 3 months into marriage, and havent had the chance to fish due to a new job that has me studying all the time, I have nothing to add here.... but I promise to be a good student and learn.

What is a swmbo?

[Tuna Taxi]

She Who Must Be Obeyed

If you have only been married a few months, you certainly want to be careful when it comes to learning from Glenn. The tactics he uses to go fishing should only be attempted by an experienced professional, and even then there is a very real risk of bodily harm. He uses that platinum card like a lion tamer uses a whip and chair.

But Glenn is a master, brings a tear to my eye just watching him practice his craft.

[Wild Life Management]

The tactics he uses to go fishing should only be attempted by an experienced professional, and even then there is a very real risk of bodily harm.

You got that right Bill

That's a good one Glenn, that is actually similar to what I was planning for this weekend. Apparently, I'm not at "master" status yet cause I couldn't pull it off.

[RobB]

thats to funny, wish i could just hand off the card im stuck taking her all of the time.

[Agitated88]

Well as has been my experience (2 ½ ex’s), Murphy’s Law comes into play when we amateurs attempt such a difficult maneuver:

1. Sweetie pie calls my bluff…we sit side by side on the beach drinking some fruity drinks while being serenaded by the soulful renditions of one Kenny G! To make matters worse, the only time you can’t hear the curlyhairedfagatooa is when the CD player is drowned out by the TurboChargedKittyKats of the vessels owned by the true “game” masters as they motor out to the promise land!! (Please just bury me up to my neck at the waters edge during low tide and pray for a high tide of biblical proportions!!)
2. She takes the bait, i.e. the card(s) and proceeds to make me metaphorically pay for my insatiable thirst to fish and my feeble attempt to play mind games with the wilily yet more diabolical species.

Bottom line…I can NOT stress enough that years of experience and an UNLIMITED line of credit on da cards contribute immensely to your success rate while attempting the aforementioned maneuvers.

[Robja]

[QUOTE=Agitated88;353387][FONT="Arial Narrow"][SIZE="3"]Well as has been my experience (2 ½ ex’s),

I am curious. What is a 1/2 and ex?

[Agitated88]

[QUOTE=Robja;353441]

[FONT="Arial Narrow"][SIZE="3"]Well as has been my experience (2 ½ ex’s),

I am curious. What is a 1/2 and ex?

That story is better left unsaid and/or explained. Besides, it takes me a good case of Corona to adequately wrap my mind around it and I lived it. Bottom line…don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time…nuff said!

[HOLWACHAGOT]

[quote=Tuna Taxi;353209]She Who Must Be Obeyed

If you have only been married a few months, you certainly want to be careful when it comes to learning from Glenn. The tactics he uses to go fishing should only be attempted by an experienced professional, and even then there is a very real risk of bodily harm. He uses that platinum card like a lion tamer uses a whip and chair.

But Glenn is a master, brings a tear to my eye just watching him practice his craft. [/quote]


I hurt myself laughing at you Bill. Classic story Glenn. You make me proud!
Holwachagot