HER LIPS WERE ..........WELL....UH

[WAHOONBOX]

"KISSABLE."

THEY APPEARED TO BE FULL OF .....SHALL WE SAY.......INVITE...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
12:03 P.M.
MONDAY

I WAS HOME ALONE.

MY DOORBELL JUST CHIMED IN DINGDONG...... I TURNED DOWN VELVET REVOLVER ON MY PC ......IT WAS GARY COOPER HIGH NOON AND WHO IN THE HELL IS ON MY PORCH AT LUNCH THIRTY BANGING ON THE BELL? .....IT PROBABLY WAS OVERBOARD OR GLENN W BLOWING INTO TOWN

I EASED UP OUT OF MY KEYBOARD FIGHTING CHAIR AND PARTED THE VENETIANS...........HOLEY SHIT .....IT'S THE JAG!!! YOU REMEMBER THE JAG DON'T YOU? THE BRONZE LEGS....IT WAS NONE OTHER THAN RIO... HER NAME WAS "RIO" ...RIO WITH REVLON HAIR SO BLACK THE ACE OF SPADES IS NOW GRAY ...... THE VENUS OF BEAUTY SHE WAS

I CRANKED MY NECK TRYING TO PEER DOWNARD THROUGH THE BLINDS .....THE ANGLE OF VIEW WAS SO SO PERFECT....UNREAL!!!!....OR SHOULD I SAY THEY WERE ....REALLY REAL .........THE AWE OF THE BEAUTY THAT WAS ON MY FRONT DECK ..........MY GOD ....HOW DID SHE FIND ME? WHAT COULD SHE POSSIBLY WANT FROM LITTLE OL ME? MAYBE SHE WANTS TO SUNSET RIDE ON THE WILD GOOSE WITH ME.........

SHIT .....SHIT SHIT SHIT!!! SHE JUST LOOKED UP AT THE WINDOW!!!! PALEEESE GOD....TELL ME SHE DIDN'T SEE ME!!!

......GOD PLEASE LET THERE BE GLARE ON THE WINDOW!!! DID SHE SEE ME PEEPING DOWN? I JUMPED BACK HOPING NOT TO BE CAUGHT AND JUST RIPPED THE 250 DOLLAR SET OF CUSTIOM BLINDS COMPLETELY OFF THE FRIGGING WALL..........A CHUNK OF DRYWALL CHIPPED OFF AS WELL .............NOW HOW WILL I EXPLAIN THAT ONE TO DA PONEYTAIL I THOUGHT

DING DONG DING DONG....THE DOORBELL WAS IMPATIENT AS HELL ........IT'S 14 STEPS DOWN MY STUDIO STAIRWELL AND I MISSED FIVE OF THEM ON THE WAY TO THE DOOR.......I RAN INTO THE ONCOMING HEAD AND HIT THE MOUTHWASH AND HAIRBRUSH.....MY TEESHIRT HAD CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM SPLATTER ON IT FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE

DING DONG DING DONG!!!! "I'M COMING.....I A M C O M I N G........

AHHHH.....THERE IS A HAIR GOD.....MY CAMO VISOR WAS IN THE HALLWAY......NOW THAT WAS CLOSE!

I DON JUAN STROLLED TO THE FRONT DOOR....SUCKING IN MY ABS TO THE POINT I COUDN'T BREATHE!.........I WASN'T SURE HOW I COULD POSSIBLY SPEAK AND KEEP MY GUT SUCKED IN AT THE SAME TIME

I TURNED THE DOORKNOB AND PULLED ....AND ALMOST FALLING DOWN BACKWARD AS I LOST MY GRIP FROM PALM SWEAT........I ALMOST DISLOCATED MY RT SHOULDER IN THE PROCESS! DANG THING WAS LOCKED!

HI BABE... I THOUGHT ....... "WHY HELL-OOOOO RIO "

"HIYA EL BOXMAN......SORRY TO BOTHER YOU BUT.......I WAS WONDERING IF YOU HAVE A SPOT OPEN FOR YOUR GIANT BLUEFIN RIGGING SCHOOL SUNDAY?"

I OPENED MOUTH TO SPEAK AND A CYLINDER OF HELIUM EXPELLED.......

I MAY AS WELL OF WET FARTED MYSELF IN THE DOORWAY ......IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NO MORE RIDICULOUS THAT GETTING THE HELIUM THROAT CRAP THAT CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH AT CRUNCH TIME!

MY GOD....I WAS A MELTING POT.....THE VENUS AT MY FRONT DOOR MAKES ANGELINA JOLIE LOOK LIKE A 10 YR OLD PLOTT HOUND EAT UP WITH DA MANGE AND I WAS CRUMBLING RIGHT BEFORE HER VERY EYES..............

I SENT A QUICK PRAYER FOR HELP UP TO THE BABE GOD AND THEN QUICKLY CAME BACK HOPEFULLY HALF COMPOSED : ....."WHY YES RIO ......THERE IS MOST DEFINITELY A SPOT FOR YOU AT THE GIANT BOOBFIN RIGGING SESSION"

SHIT.SHIT SHIT DOUBLE SHIT. DID I JUST SAY BOOBFIN????

BANGALAMA! SHE JUST SLAPPED ME RIGHT IN THE KISSER.......THEN THE DOOR SLAMMED BANG IN MY FACE!..........THEN IT WAS THE JAG'S DOOR SLAMMING SHUT.....AS I WATCHED HER LEAVE, FOUR DARLINGTON STRIPES APPEARED ON MY DRIVEWAY .......FOLLOWED BY THE MIDDLE FINGER HELD HIGH

WAIT DARLING......... I CAN EXPLAIN.......................... REALLY

THE BEDROOM LIGHT SUDDENLY CAME ON
....."BOX ....WAKE UP....WAKE UUUUPPPP....WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING TO? AND YOU SOUND LIKE A SQUEEKY CHIPMONK! WHATS WRONG WITH YOUR VOICE? .....ARE YOU OKAY? ...... AND YOUR UPPER LIP IS BLEEDING LIKE HELL ......................................."

I WAS STONED SPEECHLESS.


"AND WHAT'S THAT CORD DOING IN YOUR HAND?"

[Sweet Caroline]

Priceless.

[Buckwheat]

Hey Mr Box ~

Was driiving by yesterday and saw her hanging out by your neighbor's palm tree. Took a quick pic for ya.

[SeaBiscuit]

I MAY AS WELL OF WET FARTED MYSELF IN THE DOORWAY ......IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NO MORE RIDICULOUS THAT GETTING THE HELIUM THROAT CRAP THAT CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH AT CRUNCH TIME!

The Box is back with a vengeance! Thank you for the morning fix man. There seems to be a direct correlation between your finest written work and very active fishing. Could it be that the Box is happier when he is in the blue water a lot?
Classic stuff worthy of inclusion in the autobiography of our hero.
Don't forget to change your shorts!
SeaBiscuit

[Bking]

Friggin Hilarious!!!

[Overboard]

I was about to say............

[Tyson]

I have a girl just like that in my accounting class

[saltwaterbucks]

Hey Buck,

That palm tree in the front yard of the El Boxo Cribo. I saw it in one of Box's videos. I think it was the one where there was a driveby shooting. I remember dougiefrshwter was on the camera and when he dove to the ground, I saw that exact palm tree.

[Glenn W]

Hey Buck,

That palm tree in the front yard of the El Boxo Cribo. I saw it in one of Box's videos. I think it was the one where there was a driveby shooting. I remember dougiefrshwter was on the camera and when he dove to the ground, I saw that exact palm tree.

If that bubble butt is caught posing in front of the Palm tree you are referring to when the Pony Tail gets home from work--- he'll soon be
Wahooinapinebox

[Dave Sikorski]

If that bubble butt is caught posing in front of the Palm tree you are referring to when the Pony Tail gets home from work--- he'll soon be
Wahooinapinebox

-D