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10 Tips To A Healthy Marriage...( A Fisherman's Perspective...)
Marriage...where to start...
As fishermen we are for once reversed in our role...whereas formerly we were the predator...now we are the prey...
Oh the bait is tempting...don't get me wrong...and for most of us inevitably irresistible...so the ultimate question is how not to resist the bait...but how to survive once we are hooked...
Here’s some helpful tips I’ve picked up over the years that have helped me maintain a somewhat healthy marriage of nearly a decade, with 2 kids, 3 dogs, houses in 2 countries, and still manage to fish over 300 days a year…
1.) Don’t get married. (OK…I’m kidding…sort of…)
2.) Always remember that women speak in cryptic code…often undecipherable…(think Da Vinci Code) so it’s really no use trying to become fluent in womenspeak…just nod your head and say “yes”…and try to sound convincing.
3.) Remember that women NEED to feel thought of…this means buying them trinkets, flowers, cards, panties…anything…to express your love. But remember that this in NO WAY excuses you from showing your love in a myriad of other ways…which are equally critical. Follow my lead and buy your wife something every time you hit the tackle store to pick-up something for yourself. But for godsakes don’t purchase her something from the tacklestore…learn from my mistakes…the deeper meaning will be lost on her.
4.) Take ample time out of your day to initiate conversation with her and the children. This will seem pointless at first…as usually the conversation will have nothing to do with fishing…but slowly you will begin to realize there are things which are important to them other than fishing…and a key ingredient to survival is learning to appreciate these things…or by at least demonstrating that you are attempting to do so. Which oftentimes is what they are really hoping for anyway…if you can believe that one.
5.) For some reason wives fully believe that a day of fishing should be no longer than 4 hours…coincidently…leaving at 4am and returning by 8am puts you home right around the time the kids get out of bed. Understand that this in her mind is what a day of fishing should be…so be prepared to counter this notion with a well thought out and convincing argument otherwise…subsequently understand that this argument will inevitably fail…and so you should prepare yourself accordingly.
6.) Using the argument that you are going fishing to provide sustenance is out…regardless of whether or not you intend to provide fish for food, or if you fish professionally and intend to utilize the profits to buy food. She has already formulated the opinion that anything to do with fishing cannot, and will not be associated with work…the hunter-gatherer ploy is dead.
7.) PART 1: Definitely take your kids fishing at every opportunity. This serves two purposes…one, it shows you are a loving and caring father who is deeply interested in spending quality time with your children…and two, it succeeds in getting the hellions out of the house and freeing up some time for her.
PART 2: Definitely DO NOT take the kids on a balls-to-the-wall psycho cow hunt. This will no doubt sour them to the endeavour and make it all that much more difficult to lure them away under the premise of fishing again. Take them instead to the trout pond, or dock, or what have you…where action, and subsequent fun, is forthcoming and close at hand. There will be a time where they will want to be included on psycho cow hunts…but they, and only they, will let you know when that time has come.
8.) Complete body massage is a key ingredient to keeping her content…and no matter how much she complains that your hands are rough or smell like fish…proceed anyway, in no time she will quit protesting and melt beneath your hands. While you are massaging her MAKE SURE you tell her about what an amazing time you had on the water etc. etc…she will associate her own feel-good sensations with your story and with LUCK…she will begin to understand that fishing is our form of massage…and that it feels good to us too…
9.) Take her for walks…as this is something she apparently loves to do…and this is one I have recently learned the hard way. Walking for her is a form of exercise, meditation, relaxation, release, renewal, etc. that provides an opportunity for communication and leads invariably to the key to her everlasting happiness. DO NOT TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE COMPLEXITY OF THIS PHILOSOPHY…just hold her hand and engage her in conversation… “Honey, how was your day?” is apparently a great place to start.
10.) Hold this piece of advice I received from my grandfather, imparted to me on my wedding day…from a man who has survived over 50 yrs of marriage…close to your heart…
“The most important aspects to a long and happy marriage are YES DEAR…and I’M SORRY…and sometimes, my good man…it’s necessary to combine the two.”
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), calling up a spa and booking the appointment, giving your credit card number, and then telling your woman to go have a blast usually does the trick. It's expensive as hell, but hey, isn't everything having to do with fishing?!
Originally Posted by captcl
