Well despite our best intentions there was no way Mike or i were in any shape to drive...let alone leave Clay's house by the time Tony Berkowitz (aka Obi Wan, T, The Mayor, Capt Cabo, Old Timer, Keith Richards etc. etc. etc.) showed up on our first night in Kona...
The Mayor should have known better than to leave it up to Mike and i to check into the condo and make it back to greet him with a lai when he finally hit the lava tarmac...he should have known we'd dash to the marina on the way to the condo and lo and behold we got sucked into going fishing while there...
Of course after the fishing there was the hot tubbing and general festivities at Hensley's pad...it's seems like a no brainer to me but Tony certainly seemed surprised when he phoned us from the airport wondering just where in the hell everyone was...
"Yew mean to tell me ya'll haven't even been to tha condo yet?" in his texan-spanish drawl...T went off on a long winded tangent bordering on gibberish...southern drawl hipshot spanish which in itself is difficult to decipher...let alone with a head full of wedding juice...
Mike and i were listing to the conversation together trying hard not to laugh...not possible...we LOST it...pretty much everyone at the party did as we either had him on speaker phone or the jist of what was transpiring was painfully apparent...
We all love Tony...but we were just too festive to do anything about it...thankfully he made it to the condo and sacked out for the night...a smart decision most of us wish we would have made along with him come morning...
The crew was dragging ass in the early hours of the morning no doubt about that...Mike and i found each other somehow in the labrynth of Clay and Karri's house and helped each other locate passports, cameras, clothing...you name it...before finally making it to the rental car...
We tried Tony but he wasn't answering so we decided something in our bellies was a good idea...something other than wedding juice...like eggs and bacon and pork chops...
Luckily we stumbled upon what proved to be the best breakfast joint in Kona...absolutely massive portions of corned beef hash, eggs benny, eggs and pork chops, steaming Kona coffee...god if that doesn't chase a hangover away...with a little help from the Kona kine...nothing will...
While i'm waiting for the bill i see Mike pacing the parking lot on the cell phone and i can tell he's getting an earful...
"Now Mike...ya'll just have to come down here and grab me...i can't get around without you guys now Mike...don't make me get another rental if this is how ya'll are gonna be..."
I couldn't help but laugh because for many years now Tony has held us all for ransom down in Cabo San Lucas at one time or another...being the unnofficial mayor of Cabo and all...we've all sat and waited either in his office or the infamous Baja Cantina for his excellency to show up from some lawless predicament...god those are footnotes for another time as well...
Anyway...we finally got ourselves together and went to pick up the last of the stooges...or should i say the original stooge...whichever...T is definitely stoogy...
As per usual he's pacing around the condo in his tighty whities smoking a cigarrette in one hand and juggling his cellphone and a coors light with the other...it's about 9am in the morning and he's obviously trying hard to make up for what he's missed the night before...
Mike and i just shake our heads and try to hug him without allowing his hairy monkey suit to actually touch us...i've seen T in this state of undress many times but coming off a night of debauchery with a belly full of eggs and hash it was a little too much to handle...apparently for Mike too as both of us bolted for the balcony until T had sufficiently dressed...
We all managed to clean up nicely and made our way down to the marina finally...where Capt Kevin Hibbard and the Hooker were anxiously awaiting our arrival...Kevin's deckhand Joe was busy rigging the deck and as Mike, T, and i spilled out of the rental one look from Joe told me all i needed to know...
Joe reminds me a LOT of Shrek...except Joe's potentially more dangerous...on many levels...him and i hit it off immediatley and it wasn't long before we were trading war stories to pass the time while we waited for Ron to show up...
Joe's the kind of commercial fishing no nonsense guy that lives and fishes on a level faster than most normal people operate on...he's got a ton of experience commercial fishing Hawaii and from the look of his videos he's even more gnar gnar than he likes to let us all believe...
Meeting Joe told me alot about the kind of captain Kevin is...and as it turned out Kevin and i are probably more alike than any of the other captains i met on this trip...i'm guessing Kevin, Joe and i have some serious adventures ahead of us in our future...time will tell but when people get together that march to the beat of a different drum strange things happen...mucho rythmo loco...and i'll bet there's little any of us can do but follow the call...
Just as the first coors lights went POP POP POP the man of the hour showed up and we let loose the lines and headed out for our first full day of Kona adventure...
Ron looked shell shocked for sure...it's not easy getting married...we all tried to convince him to run, swim, dive...anything to get off the island and save his last iota of masculinity but he'd have none of it...Beth was the one he'd been looking for and he stuck by his guns...despite our best efforts...which to me is a very good sign...
That's what friends are for though...to push you and make you absolutely certain you're making the right decision...which he was...but you know...boys will be boys...
By noon we'd knocked off the fraternal psychology and let Ron enjoy the rest of the day...which for the most part was largely uneventful from a fishing standpoint...but i don't think any of us really cared about what bit that day...like i say...boys will be boys and this was certainly a chance to free the reins...i'll defer to the footnotes again here...
I'm not sure if we raised anything that day or not but the fish were there...Kevin weighed a fish the day prior that went over 500 and by all accounts fish from 500 - 800 were around...so were the tunas...wahoo...mahi...and chuckers...
Kona is definitely not an action packed fishery...what Kona is however, is probably the best location in the world to break a Pacific blue marlin record and the boys that play there know it...on each and every boat we fished on i saw nothing go into the water that wasn't geared for "THE" fish...130 wides filled to the brim...heavy duty leaders...giant lures...and widow maker hooks...
Photo albums on every boat boasted of granders...large Marge granders well over 1,000 pounds...i heard every captain tell me stories about close calls with even greater greatness...and i know exactly what they are talking about...
It's this promise that draws a select few captains to destinations such as Kona every year...fish are fish...but it's the hunt for THE fish and the absolute and very real possibility that it can come at any time that makes Kona such a magical location...several times throughout the day the hair would stand up on the back of your neck and everyone on board would turn to watch the spread without communication...it's as if those of us that were there could feel the mojo out there somewhere...and when it got particularly close we all dropped what we were doing and prepared for battle...ooooohhhh such an awesome AWESOME feeling to ply those hallowed waters...what's that shadow below the short right rigger...could it be?????
Well no...it wasn't...not on that day...despite Kevin and our best efforts...but it could have been...and that's what makes those hours so intoxicating...
The afternoon sun chased us back to the marina and from there we rolled back to the condo...cleaned up...and descended upon Huggo's On The Rocks for a proper feed...Tony...who somehow conjured up one hell of an accessory...chased Mike and i from the restaurant to give him some operating room...defer to the footnotes again for the remainder of the evening...by many accounts...
The next morning was a lay day from fishing so Mike decided we should do some golfing...well JT is no Mike Weir but i decided to tag along anyway for shits and giggles...
Mike and Tony spent the ride to the country club going over the gentleman's rules of match play...something not to be taken lightly when money is on the line...and while Mike did just come off a tournament win the previous weekend i was silently hedging my bets as from what Mike tells me a man's golf game improves with age...and we all know T is old...
Tony was my favorite all through the pro shop...club house...cart and club rental...all the way to the first tee...then he started to unravel...
T's no slouch...certainly not...but Mike was practiced and en fuego...nailing drive after drive...chip after chip...and putt after putt....Tony had some spectacular shots for sure...but the consistency just wasn't there....it was obvious he had game but wasn't practiced up like Mike who no doubt enjoys the fruits of living in southern california where year-round golf is the norm...
I'm not sure what the final tally was but Mike was clearly the winner...from my standpoint i was just glad i didn't get the golf cart stuck in a sand trap...or whack through all of the 15 balls i'd bought...actually Mike said i was a natural and by the end of it by god i could actually hit some of them sonofabitches straight...but time...and muco mas practica will tell...
We hung out at Clay's house again that night...enjoying a few games of pool on his custom cheetah hide pool table that centers a remarkable game room...skulls from hippo's...cape buffalo...you name it adorn the walls...quite a remarkable collection to say the least...i'm just in awe of all of this...extremely grateful just to be there and trying very hard to take it all in...
For me this trip was the realization of a life long dream...i cannot tell you how many marlin and sportfishing magazines i'd worn the pages off during long cold winters in canada dreaming of being one of the very guys i was now trading bank shots with over a cheetah hide pool table...to meet these guys and spend time with them and have them take me in as thier own meant a lot...a gesture of respect and affirmation that will stay with me for a long, long time...
But of course...this trip had nothing to do with me...and while we all enjoyed each other's company it was ultimately the love between two people that drew us all together...Ron and Beth were getting married tomorrow and above all else...for right now...that's why we were all in Kona...
Sunday morning came quick as is oft to happen when things are going well...and before any us knew it...it was time to put the fancy's on...
When you gather a group of fisherman such as Ron and Beth had gathered for this occasion...fancy apparrel takes on a whole new meaning...and while we all do shine up rather well it's hard to take the country out of the boy...flip flops and Pelagic shorts abounded while most of us dug out our best button downs...
As we gathered on the dock behind the Marlin Magic II the who's who of lure making and big game fishing began to show up for the festivities...Bomboy Llanes, Eric Grusnak, Clay Hensley, Marlin Parker, Kevin Hibbard, Kevin Nakamura (in spirit), Chris Fischer (in spirit), Tony B...god...it was like a NATO sportfishing summit...it's all coming too fast...it's all coming too fast...
For sure it was the first time these guys had all been on a boat together and while there was plenty of opportunity for animosity the aloha spirit took over and all things mortal were laid aside...we were here to celebrate and share in the love between two great friends...you could feel the aloha of the moment overwhelm us...
We managed to board to boat and get everyone situated without too much crying and while i thought we were going outside to conduct the ceremony Beth and Ron had other ideas...
"Alright Parker put those bad boy killers in!" came the cry from Ron and all of a sudden we were fishing...130's stood beside wedding guests as some of the best captains and lure makers in the world argued and bickered jokingly about whos lures were going where...it was insane...what a moment...
Marlin steered the Magic towards the captain cook monument and the famous giant grounds near the Kitchen while his competitors and former pupils embarked upon some serious shenannigans below...the atmosphere on that boat was contagious...a level of stoke and happiness rarely achieved in life...let alone in fishing...
As we neared the monument Marlin asked for the lines to be brought in and the festivities came to an abrupt hault...this was it...all or nothing...for those of us that have been there...there's nothing like the 5 mins leading up to the moment where you say "i do"...
You could literally see the blood drain from Ron and Beth's faces...the rumble of the engines broke the sudden silence...but then they too went quiet and the gravity of the moment finally hit home...
I'll tell you love and fishing are two of the only things that will put your heart in your throat and leave you gasping for breath in a time like that...what a goddamn exciting world we live in where we are blessed enough to celebrate life like this...
"I DO..." she cried...
"I DO TOO!"


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