AARP Tuna Club Sponsored By Z-Man Fishing!

[Capt Josh]

Earl and Linda aren't your average big game fishermen, and neither are Colin or Karen for that matter, but that certainly didn't stop any of them from kicking ass in a large and formidable way out there with us on the Maximo yesterday. It's funny how non-fishing people can change into full fledged offshore aficionados during the madness of a wide open tuna bite. By the second or third fish, which were literally catapulting out of the water to eat our lures, we had the four neophyte anglers screaming "HOOOOOKUP!!!" and "JESUSDIDJAJUSTSEETHAT!!!" with the best of them. Ahhhhh, the magic of madness....i love it.

The average age of our guests, who are friends and parents of the boss, was somewhere around sixty five - and i think I'm being generous. They were eager to join us for a day on the water on the new boat, and while i knew the fishing was going off out there, i was somewhat hesitant about the ramifications of leading the four of them offshore, and straight into the mayhem of an afternoon tuna blitz. Despite their general tenacity and obvious outward health, i couldn't chase certain poltergeists from my thoughts - i have blown up hearts offshore before.

We loaded them up at noon in the marina and as i steered the Maximo around the jetty i calculated my options. "We could go inshore fishing, see some whales, scratch out a roosterfish or two." I'm thinking, "But the bite's IS on fire out there...."

I looked from the GPS to the radio, which was currently crackling with excitement and fully automatic Spanish live from El Banco.

Karen, who likely could have been reading my mind at the time, suddenly hollered up from the deck.

"HEY JOSH! WE WANT TO STOP AND SEE JOE FRANCIS' HOUSE! YOU KNOW, THAT GUY FROM GIRLS GONE WILD!!! AND YOU'VE BEEN PROMISING ME A SHOW WITH THOSE HUMPBACK WHALES MATING FOR YEARS!!! NOW THAT WOULD BE SOMETHING!!!"

I couldn't help but chuckle. "I guess it doesn't matter how many times you've spun around the sun" i thought, "for some of us, we remain forever young."

I burned us out to the Ranchos, and spun the boat stern first to the beach so the girls could get a gander at ol' Joe's place. God only knows what they were saying down below, thankfully their conversation was lost to the rumble of the motors, but they were cackling and carrying on like a couple of college girls who, if Joe would have ventured into such things, would have done quite well on one of his videos. Thankfully, ahem...he did not! LOL

They were having fun alright, and Karen called up from the deck once again.

"ALRIGHT SKIPPER!!! THAT'S ONE DOWN, NOW SHOW ME SOME WHALE PENIS!!!"

SONOFA...that settles it!

I smashed down the throttles and pinged the sonar for El Banco. "It's not them i should be worried about after-all," i thought, "it's ME!"

We tore ass on absolutely flat calm afternoon seas to the bank where, as reported, the tunas were waiting. The boys deployed the spread of new tricks that Z-Man just sent me, a goody bag of fancy new DaiZy Chain's (TM) that proved to be the hot ticket yesterday time and time again. Tunas can be a real ***** when they are gorging on squid, often refusing nearly all offerings, including choice live baits. Now with our arsenal of spreader bars and DaiZy Chain's i do believe we have finally cracked the vault in this particular predicament. One after another the tunas obliterated the DaiZy Chain's with reckless abandon, sometimes flying up to six feet out of the water to come crashing down on the last "squid" in the chain. The boys and i cast those "Yeah, OH YEAH we GOTCHEW bastards!" looks at each other. So falls another Rosetta Stone in our favor.

For me, the real fun comes from showing people like Karen, Colin, Linda, and Earl how nuts it can get out there. Fish were literally flying through the air in all directions as the bank put on a show for our group of neophytes that had them screaming exultations right along with us. I love that chit amigos, despite our differences as individuals the madness makes us equal. Republicans, ferals, young velvet bucks,and AARP's, harmonizing the sounds of chaos as one... "HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKUUUUUPPPPP!!!!" and then ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.......

We took a year off their lives out there yesterday, but i know it was worth it.

At one point a massive Humpback whale showed up and started breaching like a porpoise around the boat. It was close enough that you could have seen one, but thankfully, nobody managed to locate a penis.

On the way home, after the carnage, i went into the salon looking for a snack and found Karen and Colin passed out on the couch - they didn't look like they were breathing. Thoughts immediately raced through my head, most of them selfish. "I'm fired FOR SURE now after killing the parents...goddamnit i KNEW we should have gone roosterfishing!"

Thankfully they weren't dead, just catatonic. Tuna fishing will do that to you! LOL

Later, after the fish and the boat were cleaned, Colin, Karen, Earl, and Linda took us to dinner at Margaritas where Hector said "GRACIAS!!!" for showing up with over two hundred pounds of tuna fillets in his usual splendor. It wasn't long before a feast of lobster, butter-flied shrimp, and the obligatory tuna was set before us, accompanied by the first of many rounds of Hector's famous chernobyl margaritas. Another loooooong journey into the night ensued, from which we are still recovering.

Here's to some newly anointed big game aficionados, and another priceless cache of memories therein!

Thanks to Z-Man for some great new tricks! http://www.zmanfishing.com/products/daizy_chainz

[Dave Sikorski]

Yet another great tale from the keyboard of JT.

I can only hope I can find a fish crazed captain to put me on some tuna when I'm they're age.

Pretty work for sure.

-D

[Rhinoke]

Always a great read capt! Thanks for taking the time to type up these reports!!! AARP....that got me laughing!!!!

[Bogart]

Good clients for sure.

[Captcrafton]

Living the dream man! Great photos, thanks for sharing.

[Rob Rondini]

looks like an outstanding day. the kind that makes you feel good showing other people your world.

[hunt4fish]

Another great post Capt JT.. Can I get me one of those Maximo shirts?? Have money will pay..

[FASTWATER]

Heh JT have you seen the new Ace High Squids from Silver Hoarde yet, Maybe I can get Mike to custom make something for you and send them down!!!PEACE

[Fish Biz]

Your going to need to buy me anew computer. Warranties do not cover water damage from tears of laughter. I laughed untill I started to cough and thats not good when you are still recovering from pneumonia. Its so frikin cold up here and you are fishing in paradise. good job and keep the stories coming. Thanks

[squirtis]

Nice job little buddy...always good to see your sensitive side