The wisdom of Confucius

[whitey]

Confucius say.....

A girl's best asset is her 'lie'ability.
All men eat, but Fu Manchu.
America Good Place to Put Chinese Restuarant.
Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless *******.
Baseball very funny game; man can walk on 4 balls.
Better to be pissed off than pissed on.
Boy and girl go camping together sure to have naughty intent.
Boy who fool around with girl in wrong period get caught red-handed.
Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.
Boy who play with himself pulls boner.
Butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.
Exotic dancer get applause; call girl just get clap.
Fly who sit on toilet seat get pissed off.
He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.
He who go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with smelly finger.
He who masturbates in front of cash register come into money.
He who outruns the cheetah is fucking fast on his feet!
He who pull out too fast leave rubber behind.
He who rapes a man's daughter, draws and quarters his son, and buries his wife alive in an anthill should not expect to sit at that man's dinner table without the subject coming up.
He who refuses to listen is lying.
He who sits on tack is better off.
He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
He who sleep with itchy bum, he will wake with smelly thumb.
He who sneezes without a handkerchief takes matters into his own hands.
He who stands in corner with hands in pocket doesn't feel crazy, feels nuts.
He who stands on toilet seat is high on pot and he who sniffs Coke, drowns.
He who stick head in fruit drink get punch in nose.
If you think it's butter, but it's not, probably time to clean refrigerator.
It take square ass to shit a brick.
It's okay to meet girl in park, but much better to park meat in girl!
Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
Lady who live in glass house should dress in basement.
Life is like taking a shower. One wrong turn and you in hot water.
Man piss in wind, wind piss back.
Man should learn to masturbate...come in handy!
Man who argue with wife all day get no peace at night.
Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time.
Man who drop watch in whisky is wasting time.
Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor.
Man who eats photograph of his sire is soon spitting image of his father.
Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Man who have circumcision lose a bit of foresight.
Man who is jerking off into a peanut butter jar is fucking nuts.
Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself.
Man who lay girl on hill not on level.
Man who lay woman on ground have peace on earth.
Man who let woman on top is fucking up.
Man who lose key to apartment not get new key.
Man who lose key to girlfriend's house get no new key.
Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down.
Man who polish knob play pocket pool.
Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.
Man who who put **** on stove have hot rod.
Man who put cream in tart, not really a baker.
Man who put face in punchbowl get punch in nose.
Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache
Man who put rooster in freezer over night have frozen ****.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man who screws near graveyard is fucking near dead.
Man who screw girl on hillside not on level.
Man who sink into woman's arms soon have arms in woman's sink.
Man who sleeps with old hen finds it's better than pullet.
Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands..
Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss baloons.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who take lady on camping trip have one intent.
Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.
Man with an unchecked parachute will jump to conclusion.
Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
Man with hand in pocket not always jingling change.
Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long.
Man with hole in pocket feel nutty all day.
Never trust men with short legs, brains too near the bottom.
Passionate kiss like spider's web, both lead to fly's undoing.
Secretary not permanent fixture until screwed on desk.
Seven day honeymoon make one whole week!
She who rides bike peddles ass all over town.
Soldier who goes to bed horny wakes up with discharge in hand.
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
Support bacteria; it's the only culture some people have!
The hand that turneth the knob, opens the door.
There is no such thing as rape; woman run faster with skirt up, than man with pants down.
Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.
When lady say no, she mean maybe; when lady say maybe, she mean yes; when lady say yes, she no lady.
Wise man never hides in lady's closet after eating baked beans.
Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary.
Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom.
Woman who eat cookies in bed at night will wake up feeling crumby.
Woman who fly airplane upside down have hairy crack-up
Woman who not practice sex before marriage is sentenced to an indeterminate length.
Woman who put chicken and peas in soup, very unhygienic.
Woman who put detergent on top shelf, Jump for Joy.
Woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
Woman who ride bicycle in city pedal ass all over town.
Woman who sit on jockey's lap get hot tip.
Woman who sit on judge's lap get honorable discharge.
Woman who slide down bannister make monkey shine.

[flatbottom]

Confucius say........many things true. midget who stand line in grocery store to long..smell rike buefish fillet

[joeksr]

Confucius say women who fly upside down have crack up.