I wish I had known that there were questions I should have asked before I got married.
Set some ground rules, so to speak. I realized this tonight after I was apparently loading the diswasher "Wrong".
So I'll start
1. Ok Mrs. Draggin, if you get ready to start the diswasher and its not loaded like you want it, do you....?
a. Reload it the way you want it
b. Make me load it the way you want it.
c. Go ahead and run it like it is
2. What kind of swim suit do you prefer?
a. One piece
c. Skinny Dip
d. You don't swim
I'll leave that to your additions.........
The longer your married, the questions get harder. Even when you think you have the answer, they change at her convience. I have been married only 9 years, I don't know SH!T !!!
2 words is all you need to know !!!!
well maybe 4
The Secrets Are Revealed!!!
3 times a charm,-- oh never mind lost that bitch too.
As long as it starts with "yes, you are right, thank you, or absolutly" and always ends in Dear--- you'll be ok 90% of the time-- not a bad batting average, uh?
If the comment or question involves calories, food, or clothes you say nothing--- absolutly nothing, unless she wants to buy clothes, food or calories, then the answer is the above.
This will get you mucho fishing trip passes and save even more in alimony, guarandamnteed.
You may draw the line with directions, cause "I know where in the hell I'm going, and by the way,--- do something with those damn brats of yours, if you'd get off your fat ass and burn some F__king calories maybe you wouldn't have to worry about those stupid ass diets."
BUY A DOG!!!!!!!
forget the dishes, she doesn't care about no stinking dirty food covered dishes. Grab a glass of wine and listen to the little women, Talk with the little women until she falls asleep. talking with, will work anytime, all the time. the answer to #2 a,b,and c in that order!!!
New Rules To Live By
Donít invade Russia in the winter, and donít conduct a short raid on Goldman Sachs when the former CEO is the Treasury Secretary.
Whenever she's right admit your wrong. When you're right keep your mouth shut. Reload the dishwasher you'll never win that one. Ask your Dad. He's been playing this game longer than either of us.
I gotta go along with Jay on this one. Been married 20 years and go fishing as much as work will allow. The wife is very supportive of much habits. I'm thinking of divorcing work...
Got Fish Too?
Judge 34 Express
Ha Ha! I'm not married! Never, Ever, Ever! I can go fishing whenever I want!
Purposely screw things up that you really don't want to do... Then say "Look honey, se what I did. I really want to do all I can for you. She takes one look at how bad you screwed up what ever chore it was that she wont even ask you again. So load that dish washer bass akwards and be so proud of it. Over and over ...