Why Must Our Wive's Dwell on The Negatives ???, - Page 6

seapower · 07-15-2009, 08:54 AM

5 foot 3, to be exact

Maybe some coralation I didn't know existed. Frank

Gringo · 07-15-2009, 09:12 AM

Well, I don't think so. La Gringa's 5'11, and the ratios seem to hold true.

Robja · 07-15-2009, 10:53 AM

If Devious theory were correct then I must have married a miget that walks around in a 5'9 body.

clt_capt · 07-15-2009, 11:09 AM

It's not the length of the wick, but the amount of powder in that length of wick that affects the burn time

Devious · 07-16-2009, 02:44 AM

My lawnmower has been out of order now for some time, my wife nagged me continually for about three week to do something about it.
I would have done something about it sooner, but there was always something more important to spend my time on.....you know.....things like fishing, golf, assisting the neighbors wife with small jobs ect.
Well the other day I get back from work and find my wife sitting flat on her backside in around ankle high grass, cutting the lawn with a pair of paper scissors.
So I observe this ritual for a while, walk into the house and return with a toothbrush. Giving her the toothbrush I say, "when you're done with the lawn, please sweep the driveway!"
I now walk with as the doctor puts it "a permanent Limp!" I must add that miraculously I found the time to repair the lawnmower!

Devious · 07-18-2009, 05:07 PM

A woman comes home and tells her husband,
'Remember those headaches I've been having all these years ? Well, they're gone.'

'No more headaches?' the husband asks, 'What happened ?'

His wife replies, 'Angie referred me to a hypnotist & he told me to stand

in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat,

I do not have a headache

I do not have a headache

I do not have a headache

Well, it worked ! The headaches are all gone.'

'Well, that is wonderful' proclaims the husband.

His wife then says, 'You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in

the bedroom these last few years, why don't you go see the hypnotist and see

if he can do anything for that ?'

Reluctantly, the husband agrees to try it.

Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes,

picks up his wife an d carries her into the bedroom.
He puts her on the bed

and says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back.'

He goes into the bathroom and comes back a f ew minutes later and jumps into

bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.

His wife says, 'WOW ! - that was wonderful !'

The husband says, 'Don't move ! I will be right back.'

He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better

than the first time.

The wife sits up and her head is spinning 'OH MY GOD' she proclaims.

Her husband again says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back.'

With that, he goes back in the bathroom.

This time, his wife quietly follows him in the bathroom, she sees him

standing at the mirror and saying ....

She's not my wife

She's not my wife

She's not my wife'

His funeral service will be held Sunday

Devious · 07-21-2009, 04:09 AM

The othe night my wife and I were watching, "Who wants to be a millionair" I asked her if she wanted to go to the bedroom and make some whoopee. I got an emphatic "NO" as an answer. So I said "then I would like to phone a friend!" ..........Thats when the fight started...........

fishfighter · 07-23-2009, 06:37 PM

The wife and I are making our 30th year together this year. In all that time,being my wife is a full blooded coonass,you would think she could cook. Not in her case. There is a saying in my house that goes like this. In thirty years,my wifes' cooking is like no two meals look a like,but they all taste the same!

Devious · 07-23-2009, 06:57 PM

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
It warmed my heart to see how her face melted in appreciation!
"Somewhere I have not been for a long time," she answered.
"Good," I said. "Then, how about the kitchen......" I suggested.

Well that started another war..........

Surfergirl · 07-26-2009, 02:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by La Gringa

Lucky women..... it's not rocket science to make it work... you just have to want to make it work.... I admire you both... !!!

We had conch chili last night. We both dove for the conch. Gringo cleaned them. I spent an afternoon making huge batches of conch chili. He divvied it up in meal-sized containers and put it in the freezer. Gringo cooked some rice and warmed up one of the container and viola...!!! Teamwork...!!! Just the way I like it!

I agree with you La Gringa... it's gotta be team work. If you do not work "together" then it seems that you will grow apart.

I have a one butt kitchen, but Tee and I somehow have managed two butts in there.

07-15-2009, 09:12 AM	#52
Gringo I think Admin is going to let me have this space Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: 21.9 deg. N Posts: 2,185 Credits: 5,650.9 Boat: Contender 25, Hobie Mirage Home Port: Providenciales TCI BWI Best Catch: This girl who shoots the monkeys off my back. Occupation: Perfecting the art of the 7 day weekend.	Well, I don't think so. La Gringa's 5'11, and the ratios seem to hold true. __________________ http://2gringos.blogspot.com/ There are very few personal problems that cannot be resolved with the proper application of high explosives.

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07-15-2009, 10:53 AM	#53
Robja I think Admin is going to let me have this space Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: North Carolina Posts: 5,142 Credits: 10,490.5 Boat: Need more friends with boats!!! Home Port: Southport Best Catch: 150 lb Tarpon & 65 lb Dorado Occupation: Insurance	If Devious theory were correct then I must have married a miget that walks around in a 5'9 body.

07-15-2009, 11:09 AM	#54
clt_capt If Ignorance is bliss, Why aren't more people happy? Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Raleigh, MHC Posts: 5,942 Credits: 8,623.3 Boat: Luhrs 36 Home Port: MHC Occupation: Supporting my Tackle habit	It's not the length of the wick, but the amount of powder in that length of wick that affects the burn time

07-16-2009, 02:44 AM	#55
Devious I caught a fish once :) Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 54 Credits: 267.7	My lawnmower has been out of order now for some time, my wife nagged me continually for about three week to do something about it. I would have done something about it sooner, but there was always something more important to spend my time on.....you know.....things like fishing, golf, assisting the neighbors wife with small jobs ect. Well the other day I get back from work and find my wife sitting flat on her backside in around ankle high grass, cutting the lawn with a pair of paper scissors. So I observe this ritual for a while, walk into the house and return with a toothbrush. Giving her the toothbrush I say, "when you're done with the lawn, please sweep the driveway!" I now walk with as the doctor puts it "a permanent Limp!" I must add that miraculously I found the time to repair the lawnmower!

07-18-2009, 05:07 PM	#56
Devious I caught a fish once :) Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 54 Credits: 267.7	A woman comes home and tells her husband, 'Remember those headaches I've been having all these years ? Well, they're gone.' 'No more headaches?' the husband asks, 'What happened ?' His wife replies, 'Angie referred me to a hypnotist & he told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat, I do not have a headache I do not have a headache I do not have a headache Well, it worked ! The headaches are all gone.' 'Well, that is wonderful' proclaims the husband. His wife then says, 'You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years, why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that ?' Reluctantly, the husband agrees to try it. Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife an d carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back.' He goes into the bathroom and comes back a f ew minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says, 'WOW ! - that was wonderful !' The husband says, 'Don't move ! I will be right back.' He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning 'OH MY GOD' she proclaims. Her husband again says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back.' With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying .... She's not my wife She's not my wife She's not my wife' His funeral service will be held Sunday

07-21-2009, 04:09 AM	#57
Devious I caught a fish once :) Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 54 Credits: 267.7	The othe night my wife and I were watching, "Who wants to be a millionair" I asked her if she wanted to go to the bedroom and make some whoopee. I got an emphatic "NO" as an answer. So I said "then I would like to phone a friend!" ..........Thats when the fight started...........

07-23-2009, 06:37 PM	#58
fishfighter Bite me Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Gulf of Mexico Posts: 222 Credits: 1,664.4	The wife and I are making our 30th year together this year. In all that time,being my wife is a full blooded coonass,you would think she could cook. Not in her case. There is a saying in my house that goes like this. In thirty years,my wifes' cooking is like no two meals look a like,but they all taste the same!

07-23-2009, 06:57 PM	#59
Devious I caught a fish once :) Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 54 Credits: 267.7	I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. It warmed my heart to see how her face melted in appreciation! "Somewhere I have not been for a long time," she answered. "Good," I said. "Then, how about the kitchen......" I suggested. Well that started another war..........