What kids think about the ocean......LOL!

[Capt_John]

These are actual quotes from kids. Gotta love this.

Children writing about the ocean-- Some of these are too much!!



1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)



2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)



3) - If you are surrounded by ocean you are an Island . If you don't

have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne , age 7)



4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily

Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)



5) - A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head.

(Billy, age 8)



6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and

pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)



7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross

the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would

whistle t o make the wind come. My brother said they would have been

better off eating beans. (William, age 7)



8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful

and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get

pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)



9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always

crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got

pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)



10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can

give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I

think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher, age 7)



11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes

my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)



12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers

can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky,

age 8)



13) O n vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was

going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired

right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)



14)-The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I

don't know. (Bobby, age 6)



15)-My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean.

What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom.

(James, age 7)

[gottaflylee]

This has me crying John... 9, 10, 11 & 12 are pricelesss

[reel fool]

I think I know this dolphin

5) - A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head.

(Billy, age 8)

[Taz575]

LMAO!! Those are great!

[La Gringa]

some more....

(1)
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah.."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him.."

(2)
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing.
She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

(3)
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy, the oldest of a family, answered, "Thou shall not kill."

(4)
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor'."
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

(5)
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."

(6)
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God's watching the apples."

[Joey Herring]

Funny!!! I needed that!!!!

[SeaBiscuit]

Thanks captain John. this is outstanding entertainment!
Biscuit