What every Kiss means...

[Bear13]

It just men by nature.. Look at my 14mnth old.

[Reel Fanatic]

It's a well known fact that men just want to see something naked. A woman could be flat out butt ugly and a guy is still going to look for a second if she is naked. Even if he knows it's going to hurt his eyes and burn a permanent hole in his brain, he will still look for that split second. Then, instinctively he will kick in his mathematical skills that he doesn't even realize he has and he will calculate within the fraction of an ounce how many beers it would take before he could make himself go to bed with her. I am sure if I could put the process into equation form, it would make some of Einstein's theories look like 1st grade math. His brain will then start producing complex flow charts to determine if the calculated number of beers would be at a level that would either kill him or still allow for sex to occur. If it is not at a fatal level, would he have to make himself vomit to prevent alcohol poisoning? Then it becomes discretionary with other factors such as other available prey, competition, energy level, time of night, what you have to do in the morning etc...all coming into the equation.

If she is an absolute hotty, then a totally different but equally complex process occurs. The equation is then reversed to determine how many beers, glasses of wine, or fu fu drinks it will take to get her to hook up with him. Since she technically doesn't have to have complete bodily function at that juncture, that can be eliminated or down-weighted from the equation. It then becomes more of a matter of determining the tipping point at which he would need to worry about getting puked on or whether she passes out before the moments of passion begin.

Women accuse us of being insensitive and stupid but it is the contrary. We are highly evolved and inteligent. The issue is more a matter of communication. If a woman were to help us by removing the burden of all these mathematical calculations, we could then focus on other things that they may actually like or want. I think women should wear a ribbon somewhere on their clothes that indicates they are willing and available. If they were to use something like Monopoly money folded up into a ribbon, that could show two things. One, it could indicate that she is available and two, the denomination could indicate a minimum spending price at which she will succumb to his efforts. If she were to add the little car or a house on a necklace, that would really allow the man the opportunity to truthfully determine if the prey was going to be too expensive and whether or not he should move on without disturbing her.

If a woman is not interested in anything long term but does need alcohol as an excuse for taking things too far, she should have a visible indicator as to what her required drink level is and where she is at(drink-wise) at any given time during the course of the evening. If she were to put rubber bands (loosely of course) around her left wrist equal to the number of drinks it normally takes her to loosen up, that would be a good inexpensive indicator. After she consumes a drink, all she has to do is move a rubberband from her left wrist to her right. That way, a man can keep a visual on where things are at. If her left wrist is loaded up with rubberbands, he could elect to allow dorky guys to buy her drinks for awhile until a sufficient number of bands had been moved. This would help defray to cost of the initial investment since he will probably be the one to pay for the cab ride which could easily cost in excess of two or three drinks.

There you have it. Problem solved. I wished I had thought of this when I was a single man in college. I pass this on, free of charge, to all of those who are still looking and playing the field.

Happy hunting!

[Surfergirl]

Women accuse us of being insensitive and stupid but it is the contrary.

Personally... I find men very complex..... In psychology..... a complex is a group of mental factors that are unconsciously associated by the individual with a particular subject and influence the individual's attitude and behavior.

[Reel Fanatic]

Surfergirl-

Do not confuse a mental complex with an involuntary (and enjoyable) fixation. Not that we men would change ourselves in any way shape or form mind you. We just enjoy admiring God's handy work and sometimes we even enjoy the complexities of her inner workings. It's kind of like boats. We men are in complete awe of their beautiful lines and their allure and appeal. Yet, we are perplexed by the complicated nature of how they actually work and how to properly maintain them so as to reduce the potential for future catastrophic failure...something that could land us helplessly adrift. It is an impossible task but a worthy endeavor because as of yet, we have no Tow Boat US or Sea Tow for relationships. All we have is divorce court which is the land version of salvage rights.

[Surfergirl]

In some cultures a kiss on the cheek means your gonna get wacked.

LOL.... OMG!! That's funny... I hope I NEVER get that kiss of death!

[jdkliesing]

I heard this some where.

A woman want's one man to do all things for her

A man want's all women to do one thing for him