Now I know I aint no Wahoonbox and I am not trying to crowd his world..we know there is only room for him int it . I just got this from the ponytail who is at home while Im working a night shift at the station. The only reason Im sharing this is to prove that not only is my job a tough one, but when I get home Ill have to deal with a woman whos verbal judo skills are so keene and cunning she will cut me into ribbons like a ninja in the dark, with a mere two or three wise crack jokes. I will go down fighting as I always do and someday I WILL BE TRIUMPHANT...heres what she sent to me..enjoy,
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Classes for Men
Spring classes for Men at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Monday, January 24, 2008

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube
trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00p for 2 hours.

Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

***Advanced ~ Class 15
Prerequisite required: Must know where the washer and dryer are located.

The Washer/Dryer- What are they and how are they used.
Step by step manual handed out during class.

Topics in this class will cover such things as:

Pink is the new black.
Fashion tips from the experts.

What is that odor coming from the washer?
Discussion on the importance of dryers.

Do clothes really fold themselves
Round table discussion

101 Creative uses for doll sized wool and cashmere sweater

live demonstrations

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors
Welcome to my World..its all yours. Im getting out of here.