Tough Shit, Amigo

[clt_capt]

A beautiful fairy appeared one day
to a destitute Mexican refugee
outside an Arizona immigration
office.

"Good man," the fairy said, "I've
been sent here by President Obama
and told to grant you three
wishes, since you just arrived in
the United States with your wife
and eight children."

The man told the fairy, "Well,
where I come from we don't have
good teeth, so I want new teeth,
maybe a lot of gold in them."

The fairy looked at the man's
almost toothless grin and --
PING!-- he had a brand new shining
set of gold teeth in his mouth!

"What else?" asked the fairy, "Two
more to go."

The refugee claimant now got
bolder. "I need a big house with
a three-car garage in Annapolis on
the water with eight bedrooms for
my family and the rest of my
relatives who still live in my
country.. I want to bring them
all over here" --- and -- PING!--
in the distance there could be
seen a beautiful mansion with a
three-car garage, a long driveway,
and a walkout patio with a BBQ in
an upscale neighborhood
overlooking the bay.

"One more wish," said the fairy,
waving her wand.

"Yes, one more wish. I want to be
like an American with American
clothes instead of these torn
clothes, and a baseball cap
instead of this sombrero. And I
want to have white skin like
Americans" ---and --- PING! -- The
man was transformed - wearing
worn-out jeans, a Baltimore
Orioles T-shirt, and a baseball
cap. He had his bad teeth back
and the mansion had disappeared
from the horizon.

"What happened to my new teeth?"
he wailed. "Where is my new
house?"

THIS IS GOOD . . . . . . . .

NO, ACTUALLY THIS IS VERY GOOD .
. . . . . .

The fairy said:
"Tough shit, Amigo, now that you
are a white American, you have to
fend for yourself."

[oceanmaniac]

aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahhahah my wife wants to know if i'm ok.....aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahhaha..
....

[Agitated88]

Good one Fred, add this one to your repertoire...

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.

While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.

Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.

Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.

Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.

When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.

The devil smiles and replies: "Since Obama took over, the country has gone to hell, so it's a local call."

[Agitated88]

My Father Is A Stripper In A Gay Bar

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.

However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when The teacher prodded him about his father, he finally replied, 'Okay...my father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money.'

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside to ask him, 'Is that really true about your father?'

'No', the boy said, 'He actually works for the Democratic National Committee and helped get Barack Obama elected President last year, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the class.'

[FreddyFlameout]

My Father Is A Stripper In A Gay Bar

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.

However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when The teacher prodded him about his father, he finally replied, 'Okay...my father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money.'

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside to ask him, 'Is that really true about your father?'

'No', the boy said, 'He actually works for the Democratic National Committee and helped get Barack Obama elected President last year, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the class.'

That's a funny one......

[NY Bearhunter]

THAT WAS GOOD...

[joeksr]

Osama been laden, a canadian and a Ny biker are walking down the beach.
One of em trips over a half buried bottle and a genie pops out.

She says,
I'm suposed to grant 3 wishes but since there are 3 of you I'll give you each one wish.
The Canadian goes first.
he says, My country has a lot of farmers. I would wish that the land always be fertile and the crops free of pests.
POOF, You got it says the genie.
Osama goes next.
I want my country of Iran to be completely surounded by an impenitrable wall and all faithfull followers of my teaching to be transported there immediately.
POOF, You got it says the genie. and osama disapears.

Your next says the Genii to the biker.
He opens his cooler, cracks a beer and lights up a good cigar.
then he asks the genie, tell me about this wall you gave Osama.
Well, It can not be flown over nor dug under. Nothing can penetrate it. Absolutely nothing can get in or out, ever. Anything else you want to know ?
One more thing, All of Osamas believers are there now ?
Yep says the Genie, all there.





Biker says, cool, Fill it with water.