And then the fight started

[Robja]

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That
silver ha ir on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my
Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants.

You might have gotten disability, too'

And then the fight started.....
********************************************************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,'
I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.
I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many
years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started.....

********************************************************************************

I rear-ended a car this morning.

So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said,

'Well, then which one are you?'



And then the fight started... ..

.........................................................................
.....

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,

'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.

I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'



And then the fight started
..........................................................................

[pal156]

rotf

[Captain Rich Adler]

robja-too funny!!

[getreel]

I get home from work the other day and go right to the LazyBoy recliner, put the TV on and call to my wife to hurry up and get me a beer before it starts. She begrudgingly obliges and brings the beer and says nothing. I finish off the first beer and call to her again, hey get me another beer before it starts. She brings me another beer, so far so good, I'm feeling lucky. I go for the third time…hey get me another beer before it starts. That's when I get the "if you think you are going to come home from work, sit your ass on the couch, have me fetch you beers while you watch sports all night you got a another thing coming……" So I said to her, never mind it started.

[Nauti Natured]

Good one ... I needed that.