School sports let down

[bigfish4me]

My oldest daughter went out for the 7th grade girls volley ball team. She is a little rough around the edges, with some more practice she could definitely be a great player. I went to school with the teacher/coach and spoke with him a few times picking her up from practice, and he said she is doing very well and improving with each practice...sound like shes going to make the team right....wrong.Now there are a few of the girls that have played on teams before and they truly are good players, there are 2 girls in particular that made the team that have no skills at all.....the only thing they have going for them is the color of their skin....thats right my daughter didnt make the team because she is white The list of girls that made the team went up yesterday, when i picked her up from school she was pretty upset, she really did work her ass off and practiced just about every day and i was dumbfounded that she didnt make the team.....i mean she has skills, the foundation is definitely there. So she proceeded to tell me about the 2 girls that she was definitly way better than that made it.....just as we were having this conversation the coach happened to walk by...so we had a little chat. I told him i was surprised she didnt make the team, considering the praise he had given her...i said the girls that made the team must be impresive players. Then he laid it on me...he explained to me that he had to put these 2 girls on the team because they cant have an all white team Since only 2 black girls went out for the team he was required to basicaly put them on the team reguardless of their skill level.....I said are you F ing kidding me...thats why she didnt make it....i was completly blown away by this crock of shit i just shook my head and walked away. You know this is wrong on so many levels, even if it was not my child that didnt make the cut, 2 kids that were clearly better than these 2 girls didnt make the team because they were not black? How would this go down if 2 black girls didnt make the cut because they had to put 2 white girls on the team? It would go over like a led balloon....i am in the process of contacting the school board, the coach will probably get into some hot water...i am sure the only reason he told me was because we know each other....but come on , how am i supposed to explain to my child the real reason she didnt make it.So i have an emotional 12 year old girl whos confidance is shaken, doubts the rewards of hard work and trying new things.....because of the color of her skin.

[budddavid]

Sounds like a tough situation and I'm very sorry for your daughter. Please try and keep it in perspective and don't hold it against these two girls. Life isn't fair but it won't be any fairer if this develops into an issue that will pit your daughter and these girls against each other, as they are all just pawns in some school official’s grand scheme (trying to play God). All too often these well intentioned programs backfire and perpetuate social divides. I really feel bad for your daughter.

[Robja]

Do the basketball teams have any white players? It is not right that ability doesn't guarantee a position. You would think the coach could have just expanded the roster by one.

[bigfish4me]

Nahhh i dont hold anything against the girls, its not their fault. I appreciate the coach telling me, and my duaghter will never know what the coach and i talked about....but it is bull, i just cant stand the treat me the same but treat me special mentality that goes on. I am sure she will be fine, she has a good head on her shoulders....and if there is one lesson that i have tried to instill in both of our daughters is , when you fall get back up. Ya know sometimes things dont work out the way you want them to, you just have to keep your chin up and keep trying....She has a loving family to fall back on, which puts her ahead of the game.

[bigfish4me]

Do the basketball teams have any white players? It is not right that ability doesn't guarantee a position. You would think the coach could have just expanded the roster by one.

Couldnt agree with you more, but 14 girls is all they are allowed to carry. Some of these programs or outlines for these programs really do more harm than good for setting a good example in these childrens impressionable years.

[esangler]

That system totally sucks and I feel for you, as I also have a daughter in 7th grade. You do need to consider the possible consequences of your response(s) though. What impact will your uproar create on your daughter's school activities? Girls that age can be really cruel, will she suffer or be chastised by her class/schoolmates or publicly embarassed/ashamed because of actions of her father? If she is not overly upset with her not making the team, it may not be worth the hassle. Also, there exists the possibility that the coach may be fired for publicly exposing something he told you in private.

If you think none of this will create more problems for her or you, you are certainly within your rights.

[bigfish4me]

That system totally sucks and I feel for you, as I also have a daughter in 7th grade. You do need to consider the possible consequences of your response(s) though. What impact will your uproar create on your daughter's school activities? Girls that age can be really cruel, will she suffer or be chastised by her class/schoolmates or publicly embarassed/ashamed because of actions of her father? If she is not overly upset with her not making the team, it may not be worth the hassle. Also, there exists the possibility that the coach may be fired for publicly exposing something he told you in private.

If you think none of this will create more problems for her or you, you are certainly within your rights.

I agree, i havent made the call for all of those reasons.I do feel a little better getting it off of my chest , but it still is not right.I more than likely will just let it die, there is really nothing that can be done about it...and being a 12 year old girl in todays society is hard enough...i dont want to make it any harder on her.

[Ultralite]

I agree, i havent made the call for all of those reasons.I do feel a little better getting it off of my chest , but it still is not right.I more than likely will just let it die, there is really nothing that can be done about it...and being a 12 year old girl in todays society is hard enough...i dont want to make it any harder on her.

If it's any consolation, I can tell you that I went from being the only junior starting as a field player on my high school varsity water polo team to being first off the bench my senior year, this after our head coach left. I was third in scoring my junior year, only a couple of goals behind the leaders who were seniors. I lead in assists because my main job was to feed the seniors. People starting ahead of me in my senior year had 100 yard freestyle times nearly 10 seconds slower than mine. That's like playing a running back with 5.5 speed in the 40 over someone with 4.5 speed. Coincidentally, the team found itself with brand new sweats and balls, all funded by the rich parents of the players starting over me. Needless to say, we lost in the first round of playoffs, whereas we went to the semis my junior year.

Life is not fair. Turn this into a life lesson for your daughter. She will be stronger for it.

[Hallnass282]

hmm I had a situation like this. I come from pretty much an all white school maybe 5 black people total. This was wrestling soFreshman year I went to states at 125 pounds fell short of placing by one match big heart breaker and tore up my left shoulder and had surgery in the fall. Missed the first month my sophmore year but worked my ass off only to be DQ wrestling for 3rd because I " intentionally " through the kid into the score table. That summer I tore up my right shoulder real bad and the didn't know if I would wrestle again. Came back and beat out our fire chiefs son who's adopted and happens to be black. The mom tore my shirt at a local gas station ... My truck got keyed it was terrible just because I wanted to go to a again. I made it ... But it just so happens his mom found a death threat that I left on their front door. I didn't put it there and it was all outta them jealous I was a 3x state qualifier ... I went in the next day and signed outta School ... My teamates and coach were literally crying it was in the town paper ... I switched to homeschooling. I made it 3x and only wrestled twice. I went and watched 5 of my best friends and team mates place and I watched that piece of shit that did this to me get busted with coke. I still get questions from people ... Havnt wrestled a match since district finals my junior year. Push your daughter but not to hard to make her sick of it. Put her through camps and get her a trainer then next year she'll kick everyones ass on the team