PERFECT DAY, HIS & HERS STYLE

[TheChumStain]

THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER
>
> 8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses
>
> 8:30 Weigh in 2 pounds lighter than yesterday
>
> 8:45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants open
> presents - expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner
>
> 9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
>
> 10:00 Light work out at club with sexy funny personal trainer
>
> 10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry
>
> 12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe!
>
> 12:45 Catch sight of partner’s ex and notices she has gained 17 pounds
>
> 1:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
>
> 3:00 Nap
>
> 4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer
>
> 4:15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle
> hunk, who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
>
> 5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full
> length mirror
>
> 7:30 Candle-lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments
> received from other diners/dancers
>
> 10:00 Hot shower (alone)
>
> 10:50 Carried to bed… (freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen)
>
> 11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
>
> 11:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms
>
>
>
>
> THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM
>
> 6:00 Alarm
>
> 6:15 Blow job
>
> 6:30 Massive satisfying shit while reading the sports section
>
> 7:00 Breakfast: steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked,
> buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler
>
> 7:30 Limo arrives
>
> 7:45 Several beers en-route to airport
>
> 9:15 Flight in personal Lear Jet
>
> 9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)
>
> 9:45 Play front nine - 2 under
>
> 11:45 Lunch: steak and lobster, 3 beers and a bottle of Dom Perignon
>
> 12:15 Blow job
>
> 12:30 Play back nine - 4 under
>
> 2:15 Limo back to the airport (several bourbons with blow jobs in between)
>
> 2:30! Fly to Bahamas
>
> 3:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude who
> also bend over a lot displaying their growlers
>
> 4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) - on light tackle
>
> 5.00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson (bending over,
> naturally).
>
> 6:45 Shit, Shower, and Shave
>
> 7:00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated
>
> 7:30 Dinner: crabmeat appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet
> steak followed by mango ice cream served on a big pair of tits
>
> 9:00 Napoleon brandy and Habanos cigar in front of wall-size TV as you
> watch football game
>
> 9:30 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies… some bending over)
>
> 11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty hot-pepper pizza snacks and a
> cleansing beer
>
> 11:30 A night-cap blow job
>
> 11:45 To bed alone
>
> 11:50 A 22 second fart which changes notes 4 times and forces the dog to
> leave the room
>
> 11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep

[Bluefin22']

>
> 6:30 Massive satisfying shit while reading the sports section

Now when i read that I almost fell out of my chair

this is my 630 ritual i know my dog find satisfaction in that!

[SharkJP]

hahahahahahaha. . . . that one was great

[sportfish_1]

Man where did you get that, thats the funniest thing I've read for a while. That gets an A++ in anybodys book. I gotta print that one out and show it to my buddies. Now...should I share this funny with my wife Nah.

[WAHOONBOX]

FINALLY A SFC FUNNY THAT MAKES ME WANT OT...TAKE A .....LAUGH!!!!

PRETTY WORK CHUMMER

[jawz12]

THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER
>
> 8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses
>
> 8:30 Weigh in 2 pounds lighter than yesterday
>
> 8:45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants open
> presents - expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner
>
> 9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
>
> 10:00 Light work out at club with sexy funny personal trainer
>
> 10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry
>
> 12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe!
>
> 12:45 Catch sight of partner’s ex and notices she has gained 17 pounds
>
> 1:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
>
> 3:00 Nap
>
> 4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer
>
> 4:15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle
> hunk, who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
>
> 5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full
> length mirror
>
> 7:30 Candle-lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments
> received from other diners/dancers
>
> 10:00 Hot shower (alone)
>
> 10:50 Carried to bed… (freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen)
>
> 11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
>
> 11:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms
>
>
>
>
> THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM
>
> 6:00 Alarm
>
> 6:15 Blow job
>
> 6:30 Massive satisfying shit while reading the sports section
>
> 7:00 Breakfast: steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked,
> buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler
>
> 7:30 Limo arrives
>
> 7:45 Several beers en-route to airport
>
> 9:15 Flight in personal Lear Jet
>
> 9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)
>
> 9:45 Play front nine - 2 under
>
> 11:45 Lunch: steak and lobster, 3 beers and a bottle of Dom Perignon
>
> 12:15 Blow job
>
> 12:30 Play back nine - 4 under
>
> 2:15 Limo back to the airport (several bourbons with blow jobs in between)
>
> 2:30! Fly to Bahamas
>
> 3:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude who
> also bend over a lot displaying their growlers
>
> 4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) - on light tackle
>
> 5.00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson (bending over,
> naturally).
>
> 6:45 Shit, Shower, and Shave
>
> 7:00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated
>
> 7:30 Dinner: crabmeat appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet
> steak followed by mango ice cream served on a big pair of tits
>
> 9:00 Napoleon brandy and Habanos cigar in front of wall-size TV as you
> watch football game
>
> 9:30 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies… some bending over)
>
> 11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty hot-pepper pizza snacks and a
> cleansing beer
>
> 11:30 A night-cap blow job
>
> 11:45 To bed alone
>
> 11:50 A 22 second fart which changes notes 4 times and forces the dog to
> leave the room
>
> 11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep

john...you are the man....i just got finished cleaning the screen on my computer-i spit a snapple iced tea all over it laughing at the "growler" !!!
geezus h thrice !!! tooooo god darn funny !!!!!!

[Stripersniper]

Stain now thats one of the funniest ones I've seen in a while. Thanks for the laugh.

[TheChumStain]

I just pass out the good cheer, my friends send me the material