One to think of when you are next out shopping with the wife.

[Andaman Andy]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their
heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says,
"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying,
"Can't you just love me for who I am,
and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,big unnamed department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said,
"Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said,
"I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,
"No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that
***** knows I'm smarter than her

[paul708]

GREAT..

[Proheat]

LMOA!! Thats a good one!!

[SeaBiscuit]

Damn Andy! You lived the dream yesterday!
One word of advice: do not get married.
SeaBiscuit

[wazzupz]

I wish I had your wisdom 250,000.00 ago. some once told me when you get married, place a 20 in a jar every time you had sex. In 15 years take out the 20 every time you had sex. Well I own a boat now. nuff said
thanks andy

[BUBBA]

That is awesome, makes me want to take the wife shopping lol.

[Trojan Joe]

Good stuff!

[AquaholicFishing]

That's the funniest thing I have heard in a long time. LMAO!!!

[tolmaz]

so how is that knot on your head doing

[Andaman Andy]

so how is that knot on your head doing

No knot on the head buddy...... this was just a joke i came across.
Luckly my wife is an Angel.