new additions and tough decisions

[hotrodmarlin]

I've got my 1st baby on the way due in March!

I've lived and breathed fishing for quite a few years now...every spare minute and every spare dollar have been invested in this sport. Now I'm thinking all that might change and I'm having a little trouble coming to grips with it.

-If I don't have a boat payment, then my wife can quit work and stay home with the kid. I REALLY don't want a daycare raising my children (more to come hopefully). This is extremely important to me because who knows what the hell is going on out there these days.
-I live 4 hours from the coast so it takes a couple of days/weekend to go fishing along with quite a few full weeks throughout the year. I'm thinking I really will not want to be out of town that long after the kid is born.
-I've got thousands of dollars worth of fishing tackle and stuff that is useless without a boat. I don't think I really want to get rid of it..
-My wife is very cool and will go along with anything I do.

Anyone out there with kids give me some advice or thoughts??

[Cowboy]

I eat drank and slept fishing offshore for 15+ years, met the wife and kept fishing for another 5+ then the kids came took a break for 6 years and waited for the kids to grow a bit and now I am right back at it.
I sold the boat and kept mom home to raise the kids (a must as far as I am concerned if it can be done) the equipment got stored and kept, all of the above took place in what seemed like the blink of an eye, you will not regret giving up your time for the wife and family it will be the best desision you ever made and when they get bigger you will be fresh and ready to roll right back into the fishing and it will be more exciting than ever with your new crew.
nickles worth of free opinion for what its worth.

[hunt4fish]

Just do like I do!! Keep the boat the kid will grow up before you know it and you'll have a lifetime fishing partner,or sell the boat and I will make sure your fishing gear doesn't collect dust. On a serious note I understand the thing about daycare,we were lucky to have My mother-in-law keep Hunter,I knew where he was and with at all times and it was free.

[shoefish]

I can see you have a tough decision to make. Giving your wife the ability to stay home is obviously the best thing for your family, hands down. The tough thing for me would be giving up on the me time, or the guy time. There are just those times when I have to get away from everything and go offshore.

Regardless of what you decide, a huge congrats is in order to you and your wife. I look forward to the "mini-hotrodmarlin" pics!

[knot for shore]

Congrats on your upcoming arrival.

If I were in your situation, I'd sell the boat, put the money in escrow and this way if you need the cash you have it for the baby or the new boat when the time comes. As far as the gear, you may want to do the same thing. Nothing ever seems to work right after it's been "put away" for any length of time. Especially mechanical items.

They're aways going to make more boats and new gear, but they're not going to make more "first times" with a new child.

Post thought......if you have to get out and fish, just charter someone on SFC. I'm sure you'd find plenty of friends on here that would help you get on the water....

[perfectscore]

let flatbottom watch your kids for u. He ain't doin anything anyway all day.

[Kahi]

To begin with, I think its really cool what we all have going on here. The idea that we open up and bounce ideas (of any kind) off each other seems to be the most evolved and elevated use of the Internet. With that said:

I think you know what you have to do, that's sort of the rough part of being a man or making decisions. Many Dad's miss out on the opportunity to "man up" and in the end, they get the type of kids that equate to the efforts that they put in.

Boat/equipment don't do well in storage, and the same way you can't bear to have your gear sitting in a basement, you don't want your kid sitting in some stranger's care. Whether or not you find a caregiver you trust, that person will never substitute for the love/bond that is natural between a mother and child. You've enjoyed fishing for so many years, and now it seems it's time to give your wife the opportunity to do what she was put on Earth for...To be as dedicated to raising your prodigy as you were to fishing.

I know first hand what it's like to make payments on a boat that never gets used, you start to resent it and for some reason you will start to blame the kids/wife for wasting money. In a few years, the new boats will be out, you can salvage the old gear or better yet, buy all new toys.


I offer you to come anytime to Miami and fish with me. As suggested before, nothing wrong with chartering once a month. Saves you money, helps local captains, and you don't have to wash your gear down. Bring the whole family to the coast, get her a spa day, you head offshore and ask grandma to cover the kids.

You will not regret making the decision that is Selfless.

[Bert Rodgers]

[QUOTE=hotrodmarlin;228128]March!

every spare dollar have been invested in this sport.

QUOTE]

You haven't invested anything, you have spent a ton. There is a big difference.

But congratulations on the growth of your family.We all know you will do the right thing and put them 1st.

Bert

[cab]

Congrats on the pending addition and a special heads up to thinking of the planning stage ahead of the game....I however have my first due in 4 weeks...the boat is still at the beach...I am looking at the sat image (or was that a sonogram) thinking of the cooler water dipping in from the north...packing my gear for an overnighter on Saturday all of which is going on while discussing my sincere interest in her quiting her job. You see, at this stage in the pregnancy, I have learned that women don't sleep very much - apparently it gets them ready for the up every 2 - 3 hour thing - anyway, I will make every concession to be certain the child is brought up in a safe environment. Not that day care isn't safe, I just happen to agree that mom & child kind of fit together. So if the boat has to go...then the boat has to go! I've been thinking of a bigger rig for a while now and maybe a few years off will afford me the opportunity to do a little shopping..from the computer that is...with child spitting up on my shoulder while the dog looks at me thinking.......shouldn't we be hunting?

Good luck...I know I'm gonna need it!

[Bear13]

I have got an 18 mnth at home and am working on number two. i have my boat and the time although sometimes seems a little thin I feel it is manageable at this point. My bills are paid so I do not have that hanging over my head. Me, I pursue all lifes endeavors hard and with passion from yelowfin to raising my cub. I don't think a good dad sells a boat. A good dad just does what is right. Teaching a little to have passion and fire about something is IMO one of those lessons and is right. Each situation is different. My wife although doesn't fish, welcomes the boat to the family and understands it is what I have always done. It sounds like you know what is best for your situation, no one can answer that better than you.

Having said all that, I have to admit there is a certain amount of guilt when I am throwing chunks over the side and he is at home. However, I remind myself that IMO we can't and really shouldn't be there all the time if you want an independant kid. Also, I value noone as a value my Pop, he is and always has been my superhero eventhough he never changed a diaper.... The time is mostly about the quality not the quanity IMO. I know folks that spend a ton of time with their kids, they really shouldn't

I don't know I am new at this. I can tell you this. My boy is an amazing young man. Please, thank you, never throws a fit, a real daddy's boy. Just an amazing little man, better than I could have asked for. I got to be doing something right. I got Pop to thanks for that!

I will say this, if I thought I needed to for my situation should change. The boat and anything else will go with absolutely 0 hesitation!