Subject: MUSLIM UNION CUTS BENEFITS....And Wisconsin thinks they have problems

Fresh from the headline news

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day
strike next Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are
entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far
failed to produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al
Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would
receive after his death would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 60.
A company spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of
suicide bombings have resulted in a shortage of virgins in the
afterlife. The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of
Occupational Martyrs (BOOM) responded with a statement saying the move
was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote. General
Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally
working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much
in return, but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".
Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands , Al Qaeda chief
executive Osama bin Laden explained, "I sympathize with our workers'
concerns, but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their
demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad
in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now
a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice
between reducing expenditures or laying people off. I don't like cutting
benefits, but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't
be able to blow themselves up." Spokespersons for the union in the North
East of England, Ireland, Wales, and the entire Australian continent
stated that the change would not hurt their membership as there are few
virgins in their areas anyway. According to some industry sources, the
recent drop in the number of suicide bombings has been attributed to the
emergence of Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle. Many Muslim jihadists
now know what a virgin looks like and have reconsidered their benefit
packages.