MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

[TOMMYV]

La Gringa, This is a compliment, you can tell a persons intelligence very quickly in a short conversation. I knew you did crosswords, my dad (god rest hs) loved them and so did my Granda ma. She would finish the Ny Times crossword bye Monday morning at the lastest. It's nice to really get to know some of the people . instead of the all the bs that goes on.

[La Gringa]

TommyV! Thank you! That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me on this board in a long time! I say screw all that bs and let's have some fun!!!

And I love the NY Times puzzles. When I first started doing them, I could barely get through the Monday puzzle (they get harder as the week goes on). Now when I get the Sunday puzzle - I devour it! I dont always finish them but I usually get pretty close and once in a while - i get all the way through! My mom (god rest HER soul) and I used to do them together all the time. I guess you could say that was one of her legacies to me!

[TOMMYV]

That's cool, the crosswords are somthing I did not pick up from my dad. But fishing oh yeh!!

[Surfergirl]

Men approve of premarital sex until daughters are born.

If a man appears sexy, caring and smart give him a day or two, He'll be back to his usual self.

TRUE!

A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic.
So she gets a divorce.

Marriage certificate? 
It's just another name for her work permit. 

I am so glad someone brought this out into the open!

When a newly married woman smiles, all know why, but when a ten-years married woman smiles, all wonder why.

"It was on this day two years ago that I lost my dear wife and children.
I will never forget that game of cards..."

Men lie about their jobs, drive cars they can't afford, wear toupees and loose shirts that hide their stomachs, and say they want a "real woman"... :rolleyes:

So true.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a mans sex drive by 90 percent.... Wedding cake!!!

Bigamy is having one husband too many.
Some say monogamy is the same.

If a man suggests that you take a break from vacuuming the living room and relax what it means is he can't hear the TV

If you think he's listening to you, you're wrong he's trying to convert what you just said into something with a sexual connotation

If a man had a thought in his head, it would get lonely!

If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.

Men are like roller coasters: when it's good you don't want to get off, and when it isn't... you can't wait to throw up.

Behind every great man is a woman with a vibrator

If he asks you if you're faking it tell him no, you're just practicing.

Scientist have finally discovered the chemical formula for ******.
1% Sodium
1% Iron
1% Phosphate
97% Fix-a-Flat

GOOD ONE... GOT MORE?!

[La Gringa]

GOOD ONE... GOT MORE?!

well since you asked...!!!!!

Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

Women don't make fools of men most of them are the "do-it-yourself" types.

The best reason to divorce or break-up with a man is for health reasons you're sick of him.

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it. (This is sooo true... or suggest he is not capable of doing it.... heh, heh, heh)

If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him check books.

A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, "Oh alright, I'll stay the night."

Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men - one woman

When God made Man, she was just kidding. heh, heh, heh..

If God had wanted men to be perfect, he'd have given them brains

Men is proof even God makes mistakes

Men? On the whole, I'd rather buy new batteries.

Men read Playboy for the articles just like women go to malls for the music.

Men are creatures with two legs and eight hands.

Men are fun to argue with, because even IF they win...they lose.

Men play the game. Women know the score.

Men and women were created equal, but women continued to improve.

Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.

Men, stupid? You'd be dense too if you had your brain in your pants!

If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach you're aiming way too high

Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.

[Surfergirl]

well since you asked...!!!!!

Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

Women don't make fools of men most of them are the "do-it-yourself" types.

The best reason to divorce or break-up with a man is for health reasons you're sick of him.

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it. (This is sooo true... or suggest he is not capable of doing it.... heh, heh, heh)

If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him check books.

A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, "Oh alright, I'll stay the night."

Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men - one woman :cool:

When God made Man, she was just kidding. heh, heh, heh..

If God had wanted men to be perfect, he'd have given them brains

Men is proof even God makes mistakes

Men? On the whole, I'd rather buy new batteries.

Men read Playboy for the articles just like women go to malls for the music.

Men are creatures with two legs and eight hands. :rolleyes:

AAAHHHHH!!! squidwards

Men are fun to argue with, because even IF they win...they lose.

Men play the game. Women know the score.

Men and women were created equal, but women continued to improve.

Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it. :rolleyes:

Or two thousand dollar rims

Men, stupid? You'd be dense too if you had your brain in your pants!

If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach you're aiming way too high

Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.

those were great!

[whowantstoknow]

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE


NICKNAMES:

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike , Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT:

When the bill arrives, Mike , Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY:

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS:

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel ...
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS:

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE:

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS:

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE:

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP:

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL:

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING:

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

Success - the last time i checked..it was 2009.....that statement no longer applies.......well at least to coastal girls....havent been to middle earth lately.....

Natural - well if you fall for a girl or take a girl home who needs a pound of make up on her face in the first place...........its your own fault to what you end up with in the morning.......

by the way i am 3 away from 3500................but who is counting

[seapower]

Yes La Gringa you might be intelligent and all that. But what does an "island girl" use a razor for? Sound's like an exageration to me! Come on if you're goona take up space here, tell the Truth, Frank

[La Gringa]

Success - the last time i checked..it was 2009.....that statement no longer applies.......well at least to coastal girls....havent been to middle earth lately.....

Natural - well if you fall for a girl or take a girl home who needs a pound of make up on her face in the first place...........its your own fault to what you end up with in the morning.......

excellent point...!!!!!

by the way i am 3 away from 3500................but who is counting

i think i'm about 3 away from 300.... hahahahaha...!!!! that's 'cause i'm an old fogey and yer not...!!! heh, heh, heh...

[La Gringa]

Yes La Gringa you might be intelligent and all that. But what does an "island girl" use a razor for? Sound's like an exageration to me! Come on if you're goona take up space here, tell the Truth, Frank

You think island girls don't use razors?????