A man's view

[seabass]

Man's Rules


Finally, the guys side of the story. I must admit, it's pretty good. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.

1. Saturday and Sunday = fishing or sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. That is the way God intended it. Let it be!

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is considered blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want! Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache or exhaustion that lasts for 7 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both! If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like default settings on your computer. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, we will be scratching it. Immediately! That is what men do.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying but, it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to be somewhere on-time, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as basketball, the shotgun formation, shock leaders, or beach structure.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping

[HOLWACHAGOT]

Way to go Seabass. That is hilarious! And true. Holwachagot

[shoefish]

Another seabass classic! Keep em coming.

[sharktooth2005]

I just sent a copy to my wife. Since Sunday is my birthday, I'm hoping that I will not be campingon the couch and that, for a weekend at least, she will take the items to heart. I will keep you posted...

[divemaster]

good one SeaBass...also happy birthday and good luck Shark Tooth