The male answer to a "Jersey Girl " !!!!!!!

[Cardinal Joe]

Men strike back!
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------- ------ -----
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? < B>
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't , there is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the require d pres sure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake
--------------------------------------------------------------- ------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, And still think they are sexy


-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few women who can handle the truth!
Cardinal Joe

[offshore]

My wife is going to love this!!!!.......Mark

[Cardinal Joe]

I was email - and asked if I really felt that way ? And did I write the above statements ? I said '" of course not " and I'm not smart enough to come up with all those words of Wisdom ! What do think I'm a Male Chauvinist Pig???Cardinal Joe

[whowantstoknow]

Originally Posted by Cardinal Joe

Men strike back!
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------- ------ -----
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? < B>
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't , there is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the require d pres sure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake
--------------------------------------------------------------- ------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, And still think they are sexy


-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few women who can handle the truth!
Cardinal Joe

Joe,

Once i wipe the crome gnats out of my eye's - I will be able to actually come up with some appropriate response.....

But for Starters......I DONT KNOW ANY JERSEY GIRLS THAT WOULD DO ALL OF THESE......yeah maybe a few here or there, and as we know from past "female" threads.......NOT ALL WOMEN ARE CREATED EQUAL.....and not all men are created equal......

Cooking, opening beers, financial support and if we do that are all courtouseys we either give freely or dont give at all..........

In reagrds to the wedding cake------thats your own fault, you should never have gotten married

And in reagrds to creation.......we just like to keep ya'll on your toes!!! --- and what would you have done all by yourself in paradise????

Beer Bellys/and Receeding Hairlines-----IGNORANCE IS BLISS...Theres nothing better than the big beer bellied, balding guy who thinks he is the chit........they are easier to avoid ..j/k


O..and if im yelling at you from the front door and the dog is barking at you from the back door...there is an obvious reason, so go let the dog in and let me cool off.....but becareful, ive been known to take off in...not mine..but his truck, and joy ride

Now that im mentally drained.....a man once told me he was coming to cape may to take me to lunch.....We miss rights dont wait around forever

[clt_capt]

Oh come on Joe - Everyone knows the only thing a Jersey girl makes for dinner is reservations

[Reelscreamer]

Cardinal Joe,

Why is a womans wedding dress white?
The dishwasher and the stove and fridge should all match!

Just a lil more humor for you but please don't send this to my wife! HA HA HA j/k

[Cardinal Joe]

Originally Posted by whowantstoknow

Joe,


Now that im mentally drained.....a man once told me he was coming to cape may to take me to lunch.....We miss rights dont wait around forever

OK , next week I'll come down to Cape May ,and take you Jersey Girl's out to LUNCH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cardinal Joe

[Capt_John]

Originally Posted by Cardinal Joe

Men strike back!
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------- ------ -----
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? < B>
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't , there is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the require d pres sure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake
--------------------------------------------------------------- ------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, And still think they are sexy


-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few women who can handle the truth!
Cardinal Joe

A Morriston senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z3 convertible out
> of the car salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 90
> mph,enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. *
>
> *'Amazing!' he thought as he flew down the Highway, enjoying pushing the
> pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a
> police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. *
>
> *'I can get away from him - no problem!' thought the elderly nutcase as
> he floored it to 110mph, then 120, then 130mph. Suddenly, he thought,”
> What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!' So he pulled
> over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch-up
> with him. *
> *Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's
> side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, 'Sir, my shift ends in 10
> minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can
> give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before,
> I'll let you go.' *
>
> *The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, 'Years
> ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her
> back.' *
>
> *'Have a good day, Sir,' said the policeman *
>

[Cardinal Joe]

If Her Job is to BITCH !!!!!!!!!! Then Mine is to give her a REASON ! Gotta Love those Jersey Girls ! Cardinal Joe

[Cardinal Joe]

Originally Posted by Cardinal Joe

OK , next week I'll come down to Cape May ,and take you Jersey Girl's out to LUNCH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cardinal Joe

Does a Lunch date count as first base ??????????? HA! ha! Cardinal Joe