looking for a little advice on women

[blackwell50]

Hey guys and ladies,
I have had a great relationship with my lady for a little over a year.Recently she lost a well paying job and had to replace it with one that did not shell out the green as well.I have done everything within my means to help her along.Her lease on her house ran out and her sister who shr was splitting costs with moved in with a friend and put a huge burden on her.That as well as few other things have just overwhekmed her and he wants to spend a few weeks with her dad.I fully support her and will stand by her every step of the way.I just wonder what i should do,and what to think of the whole situation.I feel like i have come up short in the fact that i cant fix everything for her.What's the deal.What should I think of the situation?

[El Capo]

Sounds like you are doing the best you can bro.Hang in there,things always seem to find a way to get better with time and effort.

[blackwell50]

I know<i just hate stressing every day.i want to be the cure all that ails her.On the other hand i might be to sensitive.

[El Capo]

Chicks out here expect that type of behavior from a man.Welcome to the jungle.

[blackwell50]

Chicks out here expect that type of behavior from a man.Welcome to the jungle.

I guess this is the price to pay to have someone so physically hot and beautiful on the inside as well.Man,i can't beleive this is getting to me so much.

[Reel Fanatic]

That's not your job yet. That's what her dad is for.

Shackin' up and playing house is not a good option either. If the relationship goes south, now you're both in a bad way. Support her emotionally and be there for her and that's it.

Be a sounding board for her ideas and know that some of her ideas are just her thinking out loud and don't require your input.

If something seems like a sketchy idea or not well thought out, ask questions that help her lead herself to a logical conclusion.

If she is the type of woman who needs to be told what to do and require constant handholding, she may need to spend more time at home with mom and dad anyway.

Do not get into any financial arrangements jointly. Should the relationship fail or falter, it could screw up both yours and her credit. Should you ever get married, it would be nice for at least one of you to be able to get financing for a car or home-traditional style mortgage or loan.

Keep in mind that the economy sucks right now and good paying jobs may be few and far between depending on what her education and work experience is. Trying to play daddy warbucks can break you-especially in the early years. These are the years to be building your financial foundation.

It's never too early to start saving for your retirement and it always works well as an excuse for not having extra money around for discretionary lending.

If you do this, you will not only win the respect of her, you will also win the respect of her parents. If this were her asking the question instead of you, I would be saying the same to her.

Been happily married for 14 short years and it works.

[blackwell50]

That's not your job yet. That's what her dad is for.

Shackin' up and playing house is not a good option either. If the relationship goes south, now you're both in a bad way. Support her emotionally and be there for her and that's it.

Be a sounding board for her ideas and know that some of her ideas are just her thinking out loud and don't require your input.

If something seems like a sketchy idea or not well thought out, ask questions that help her lead herself to a logical conclusion.

If she is the type of woman who needs to be told what to do and require constant handholding, she may need to spend more time at home with mom and dad anyway.

Do not get into any financial arrangements jointly. Should the relationship fail or falter, it could screw up both yours and her credit. Should you ever get married, it would be nice for at least one of you to be able to get financing for a car or home-traditional style mortgage or loan.

Keep in mind that the economy sucks right now and good paying jobs may be few and far between depending on what her education and work experience is. Trying to play daddy warbucks can break you-especially in the early years. These are the years to be building your financial foundation.

It's never too early to start saving for your retirement and it always works well as an excuse for not having extra money around for discretionary lending.

If you do this, you will not only win the respect of her, you will also win the respect of her parents. If this were her asking the question instead of you, I would be saying the same to her.

Been happily married for 14 short years and it works.

I have found out that listening to those that have been there before has been to my great benefit as i have gone through life.You just gave me a great viewpoint of the entire situation,and you knew what i was trying to do to a tee.You read me like an open book,thank you for the great advice.She is the type that wants me to make every decision for her and tell her what to do every step of the way.

[RichardTerp]

Given the post title, it's easy to hit the hanging curve ball of of the park but Reel Fanatic speaks the truth. He has the entire situation to a tee. Excelent advice. Been with my girl for 14 years (married for 11) and agree with everything said.

[Robja]

You might want to ask the SFC LOVELINE in Box's world.

[Avenger]

Exactly what Reel Fanatic said. Plus, maybe you can help her find a nice apartment that matches her current financial situation. It's a typical guy thing to want to be the hero who can fix all ills, and a girl thing to be looking for the knight in shining armor, but it's not realistic. Finding ways to work as a team to solve life's problems and cope with disappointments says a lot more about your ability to build a real-world workable future together.

Also, beware of totally dependent types. It's nice when a woman leans on you for support (makes you feel more manly, arrgh, arrgh, arrgh!) but if they're completely helpless it becomes a burden. Don't ask me how I know this. I haven't met your GF, so I'll leave it to your judgement.

I wish you both the best of luck, and in tough times always remember; 'This too, shall pass.'