LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

[Karl Sr.]

1.. My wife and I divorced over religious differences.
She thought she was God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

[SeaPro238]

One you should never say to your wife or um ex-wife "Nice hair, but why did you dye the roots that color?"

[Karl Sr.]

6.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

[TheChumStain]

Best part about Alzhiemers is you meet new people every day and your Easter Egg Hunts last a lifetime.

I never enter a battle of witts with an unarmed man.

And if you get into a battle of witts with an idiot they will drag you down to their level and kick the livin shit out of you

I have a few bad ones that I will not post again but one I use on the boat when the guys swing at the tuner bites, You look like a retard in a battin cage swingin at them fish

[snakeeyes]

ONCE YOU GET BY THE SMELL, YOU GOT HER LICKED...

[TheChumStain]

ONCE YOU GET BY THE SMELL, YOU GOT HER LICKED...

Thats not always true because sometimes there are dingleberries in there and once you get them it is tough to get the taste out of your mouth.

[WahooKing]

-WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship

-Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

-Forget the dog. Beware of my wife

-Time spent fishing is not deducted from a man's life

-If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

-Save a tree...eat a beaver

[snakeeyes]

STAINO, HOW DID I KNOW I'D GET A RESPONCE FROM YOU ON THIS...HOW THE HELL ARE YA MAN...HOWS THE BOAT...

[TheChumStain]

STAINO, HOW DID I KNOW I'D GET A RESPONCE FROM YOU ON THIS...HOW THE HELL ARE YA MAN...HOWS THE BOAT...

The boat is restin all I need is a little poke once in a while to get the funnies flowin

[Karl Sr.]

11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.