An American golfer ,playing in Ireland, hooked his drive into the woods.
Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back,
a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him.
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Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart
and poured it over the little guy, reviving him.
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'Arrgh! What happened?', the Leprechaun asked.
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I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball !', the golfer says.
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Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square.
Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?'
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'Thank God, you're all right!' the golfer answers in relief.
'I don't want anything. I'm just glad you're OK, and I apologize.'
And the golfer walks off.
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'What a nice guy,' the Leprechaun says to himself.
'I have to do something for him.
I'll give him the three things I would want . . .
a great golf game,
all the money he ever needs,
and a fantastic sex life.'
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A year goes by
(as it does in stories like this)
and the American golfer is back.
On the same hole,
he again hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.
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'Twas me that made ye hit the ball here,' the little guy says.
'I just want to ask ye, how's yer golf game?'
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'My game is fantastic!' the golfer answers.
I'm an internationally famous golfer now.'
He adds, 'By the way, it's good to see you're all right.'
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'Oh, I'm fine now, thankye.
I did that fer yer golf game, you know.
And tell me, how's yer money situation?'
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'Why, it's just wonderful!', the golfer states.
'When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket
and pull out $100.00 bills I didn't even know were there!'
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'I did that fer ye also.'
And tell me, how's yer sex life?'
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The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly,
'It's OK.'
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'C'mon, c'mon now,' urged the Leprechaun.
'I'm wanting to know if I did a good job.
How many times a week?'
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Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers,
'Once, sometimes twice a week.'
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'What?', responds the Leprechaun in shock.
'That's all??
Only once or twice a week???'
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'Well,' says the golfer,
'I figure that's not bad
for a Catholic priest in a small parish.'

Cardinal Joe