Medical Distinctions
>
> We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really
> know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the
> definition for each is listed below...
>
> GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being
> met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still
> cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
>
> BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of
> perfume and beer, lipstick o or collar, slapping your wife on the butt
> and having the balls to say: "You're next."
>
> This should clear up any confusion on the definitions.
>
> Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome since both
> ultimately result in death.



Collection of Jokes

to Offend Everyone



What's the best form of birth control after 50?
Nudity



What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 lbs.



What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes.


Why is it so hard to find men who are caring, kind, and good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.


What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase
cars they have no intention of driving.


What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo machine.


What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

Why did God create alcohol?
So ugly people could have sex, too.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"



What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

What's the difference between a Northern fairytale
and a Southern fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time."
A Southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this crap."





>WOMEN'S ASS SIZE STUDY
>There is a new study out about women and how they feel about their
>asses.
>
>The results were pretty interesting:
> 25% of women think their ass is too fat...
> 10% of women think their ass is too skinny...
> The other 65% say they don't care; they love him, he's a good
>man, and they would have married him anyway...
>