How do you get over it?

[La Gringa]

My oldest son who recently moved to Boulder, CO is suffering a terrible broken heart. And I mean he is devastated...!!! I have been trying to come up with some ideas to help.

He's not nearly ready to think about dating and other opportunities. He is absolutely mired in dealing with this very unexpected turn of events.

They had been together for two years. He is 21 which is very young to have been so serious but they seemed well-suited and happy. I like(d) her a lot. They'd talked about the future - marriage down the road and children eventually. They'd even talked about the pitfalls of being so young and having such a serious relationship.

He bought it hook, line and sinker.

He'd gone off to Boulder for a fresh start at Colorado Univ just last month (he wasn't doing that well in Virigina and wanted to get out of the college rut he was in). She was to join him in three months. Shortly after he moved, she announced that she would stay in VA and graduate first rather than transferring - extending the move to 18 months. Ok, he wasn't thrilled about that but it was doable.

Last week, she announced that she "needed a break" and broke it off. Oh and by the way, she "still loves him"... She barely made 3 weeks of separation...!!!!

So now he is in a town where he doesn't know anyone and is all by himself. He said he can't eat. He can't sleep. He breaks down every two hours and is afraid to go out. This has been going on for a week now...!!!

I'm really worried about him. He just started classes this week so coming down to the tropics for a diversion is not an option.

I'd appreciate any thoughts or or helpful tidbits that I could pass on to him.

I, of course, would LOVE to kick some bimbo ass!!!

But have to hold my tongue just in case this thing somehow miraculously works out.

[92 feet down]

Three words. One night stand. It works EVERY time.

[La Gringa]

Three words. One night stand. It works EVERY time.

That's not something I would normally endorse as a mother - but I can pass that on as "one guy's advice" though!

He's not even thinking about other girls. I wish he would. Boulder is a pretty hip little college town and I'm sure there's no shortage of opportunities!!

[KEY-LIME-PIE]

I'm no Dr. Phill, but I just went through it with my 15yo daughter. She had a boyfriend for 8 months. At the end of the school year this summer he told her that he wanted a break for the summer and would hook back up with her when school started up again! Well being a Dad of sound mind and body, I told him he was out of his mind! Thinking that I could really pull this off....I told her them both that they wern't allowed to see each other or even talk to each other at all this summer. She wont know what your doing...And Corey you wont know what Jessica is doing, or who she is with, or who she is talking to, or if she is out on a date. But I can tell you this...She wont be sitting at home crying over you. So go have your summer of fun, but I dont think Jessica will be waiting for you @ the front door of high school.

Well none of that happened! The very next day they were back together, It was a tough summer of love with the teenagers, but Love is just around the corner, if we turn corners!!!

I am sorry for your sons loss! Love sucks sometimes. Sorry I cant help out anymore.

Tom

[shoefish]

Unfortunately what he needs to do to get back on track and what a mother can tell him to do are to very different things...

All you can do is make sure that he knows that everything happens for a reason, and if 3 weeks of separation is all it took to shake her off the hook, then it's better to know that now than be two more years into it and have a real life issue happen.

He'll find his way through it...especially in Boulder...the talent pool is very deep there

[La Gringa]

Unfortunately what he needs to do to get back on track and what a mother can tell him to do are to very different things...

All you can do is make sure that he knows that everything happens for a reason, and if 3 weeks of separation is all it took to shake her off the hook, then it's better to know that now than be two more years into it and have a real life issue happen.

He'll find his way through it...especially in Boulder...the talent pool is very deep there

Well, I thought I might tell him that I "asked the guys" since as a mom my perspective is somewhat different and then copy and paste some of your responses to him!

If anything, maybe it will give him a chuckle!

[shoefish]

Yup. Or have El Senior Gringo give him a quick call and share some stories...not that he might have any...I mean he could share some stories of friends that he knows that have gone through similar things and what they did to turn the corner...

[FishPimp]

As with anything in life, time heals all ! I went through the same thing at just about the same age. It consumes every aspect of your life. He wont realize it now, but it will make him stronger. I remember my parents advising me on what to do, and I remember doing none of it. At the risk of sounding like a homo, lend a soft shoulder and remind him how much YOU love him.

BTW: I love your blog

[Sea Draggin]

I'm thinking round trip ticket to Provincetown, Ri. He will be so turned off, he can get back to business.

[Delmer]

Well, I thought I might tell him that I "asked the guys" since as a mom my perspective is somewhat different and then copy and paste some of your responses to him!

If anything, maybe it will give him a chuckle!

Get in touch with his roomates and have them get him out some. You may be able to buy some gift certificates to a restaurant near campus. I don't know too many college guys that turn down a free meal out. Find out if there is a club or group that you think he'd be interested in ( fly-fishing?) contact them and give them your son's contact info.

good luck,