How do you get over it?

[La Gringa]

This is all great stuff. My biggest concern is that right now he is a new town and he doesn't have any friends there. My nephew was there over the weekend and that helped. He's not living in a dorm - expecting that she would be joining him, he's rented an apartment and committed for a year. The fact that he is getting to his classes is good. In time, he'll find some friends that way.

I like the idea of a gift certificate or something that will get him involved somewhere. Maybe a gym membership or something. When I was in a similar situation once, my mom treated me to a day at the spa. And though I still felt so sad it was really nice to spend a day on things that made me feel good.

He's not hearing the cliches just yet. He's still trying to get through a few hours at a time without breaking down. It is even hard for him to talk to me because this embarrasses him. Feel his pain? Oh man. To my core.

I suggested running - he does enjoy that. But again, he is not in control of his emotions and he's afraid to go anywhere. Once he gets that.... I think things will improve.

Thank you everyone - great advice!

[shoefish]

He's got his own place? In Boulder? When he's ready, he's going to be the most popular kid out there!

[La Gringa]

He's got his own place? In Boulder? When he's ready, he's going to be the most popular kid out there!

hahahaha.... THAT is something I will definitely say to him....!!!!!

[Robja]

My son went thru a similar experience when he was in college. I told him that even thought it didn't seem so at the present that it would be the best thing that could happen to him. Being tied down to one girl many miles apart wasn't good for either one of them. After a couple of weeks he had more dates than he wanted. His friends were there to take the culls. He has since met a wonderful girl and he realized the love he has now is far deeper than what he had with the girlfriend when he started college. Btw they are still good friends.

[000's]

man a broken heart sucks but it will make him a better person,sounds to me like shes the one that lost not him,hes got to keep busy sitting around with nothing to do is the worst, mind goes crazy on ya.I agree with the others an apt to him self,after he meets some new friends he will have to beat the women off him.

[costaricasportfishing]

Don't worry too much. Boulder is FULL of super hotties!! Give him a week of school and he'll be over it. Been there....Sucks!

[Hallnass282]

I just went through this. My girl and I dated for 4 years ... Her dad fished with us all the time her sisters fiancé and I are tight as our families. We broke it off 6 months ago and recently rekindled the flame but I guess she thinks I'll wait for her. Honestly if it's meant to be it will work. Most of the time shell get jealous and come running back just don't give in right away. Right now we don't speak because she gets jealous of my new arm candy ... In the end well be together.

What worked for me was partying ... Went out with the guys and met girls but ended up dating my neighbor that has lived beside me for 18 years. We have the same friends and she don't get made fun of because her boyfriends a redneck like Sara my x. He won't get over it quick but another girls the quickest way to git over a heart break. He'll be alright we all go through tough times.

[Thin Blue Line]

I have been down this road many times as Im 34 and never been married...Ill pass on two words to you for your son to hold close and help him get through the hard times. These two words dont only apply to the end of relationships but any time life deals you a crappy hand. I learned these two words when I was 18 and have never forgot them.

Strippers and Beer



...makes the worst of problems slide by the wayside.

[La Gringa]

Well, I copied ALL of your responses and sent them to him - unedited and uncensored. I just got off the phone with him and he said he really liked it.

He's had a couple of hours to think about it since I sent it and has decided that this is a problem with her and not him. He was completely misled (i.e., he is not blaming himself any more which is GOOD). Blind-siding him was not only not very nice but down right cruel and he's mad about it. I'm glad he's mad. He should be. This also tells me that he is progressing. He went for a run today too (I'd suggested that yesterday). All positive signs that this too shall come to pass.

It's one thing to hear from one's MOM that people get their hearts broken - I think it helped a lot for him to see that it happens to all of us at one time or another. And it's devastatingly painful no matter how you slice it.

I can't thank you all enough!! You've really made a difference for my kid!!!

[shoefish]

Just tell him to remember that when he gets back up on his feet, that we do have a little something around here that we like to call "Hot Girl Friday" and I'm sure being a single guy in college he will probably be able to throw up a few pics himself

Glad he is feeling better.