How do you get over it?

[bigfish4me]

Let him know that it seems like the end of the world right now,but it will get better....time heals everything.At first he feels devistated, eventually that hurt will turn to anger, and the anger will turn to rage....no matter how much he loved her. Each day it will hurt a little less, and it is no easy task getting over it but he will come out of it. Let him know there is a woman out there that deserves a man like himself and if the ex couldnt see that, then she was not worthy of his heart.The worst thing to do is trash the ex...because at the moment he is still in love with her, people change especially when your in your early 20's...since she changed he is in love with who she used to be...you can love who she use to be and hate who she has become very easily.His confidence is shaken, these are the times when a man leans on his friends...they are the ones that can get him laughing and get his mind on something else. Its far too easy to let your emotions get the best of you while talking to family, although just talking about it with anyone is a step in the right direction. Good luck la gringa i hope your son moves on sooner than later, but the right one is out there....but there is nothing wrong with a little test drive and window shopping while looking for that one. Before you know it he is going to be like a caged animal that just got let loose and he will be wondering what the hell he was thinking....really what im getting at is there is only one way to get over it.....after you fall you just have to get back up.

[whowantstoknow]

When people are away from each other their minds start to wander and play tricks on them. what they really felt so strongly about can change in a couple weeks, or even a couple days. As someone who has been on both ends of this stick, its such a confusing time. Ecspecially in College! Some people see a chance for freedom and think that that is what they want.....they want to test the waters. and then others are so content to be in the same thing forever and want nothing else than to be with that person......becasue they found what they want. they found "it". Unfortunatly, she might have just realized that she isnt ready to pick her life up and move....It isnt fair to your son, and i bet he had his heart set on her.

Tell him if you love something let it go, and if it comes back it was meant to be.....if not it wasnt right in the first place. Take the things that you learned from each other and try again....or dont try again, enjoy your freedom, make your life. Love hurts because it has to deal with your heart - but i think people sometimes forget that it is also human............When things are easy and comfortable realtionships are still hard. But if a relationship can be thrown a curve ball with something, such as a move, or distance - its next to impossible.........

I hope things work out the way they are meant to for him.....

[biebs]

If your son is in Boulder, he will be just fine. Sexy ass women everywhere. Its that ridiculous. He shouldnt have a girlfriend anyway in college.

[Bert Rodgers]

La Gringa, as a mother you can't help but feel his pain. But remember that we ALL go through this. It's just part of life

Time will heal his wounds. And sooner than he (you ) think he will realize that the freedom he has now, not having to check in etc. , makes college a lot more fun.

My advise for both of you is to do nothing at all because there really is nothing you can do except move on.

Bert

[budddavid]

Lots of exercise. As a guy when something goes wrong we always feel the need to take action to fix or make things better. While exercising will do nothing to bring back his relationship it will give him something to do and provide an outlet for frustration. At the same time he is bettering himself, feeling stronger and boosting endorphins. Also studying, straightening up his place, and going on a healthier diet, anything to put his life in order and feel more attractive to the opposite sex. If he finds himself lying in bed thinking about her he needs to get up and run, lift or put in some basic calisthenics, regardless of what time of night. He may get down to 3 hours of sleep a night but eventually he will come out of it more confident and looking forward to meeting someone that appreciates his qualities. Avoid excessive drinking. Above all else, no contact with her.

[gottaflylee]

La Gringa.
I bet your son is one of the nicest people anyone would ever want to meet and us "Nice guys" finish last. I've been stepped on spit on and kicked to the curb more times than I car to remember. Tell him to treat her like dirt and she will come running back!!! If she does not, at least he will feel better, ah the horror stories I have... Feel free to tell him to give me a call...

[hubris 1]

everyone should have their heart broken at 21. it should be required. he will get over it. if he doesnt.......well, problem not his back. problem in his head. what you want at 21 doesnt even remotely resemble what you really want at 30. no guy with anything going on in life should ever get hitched until he is at least 30-35. but if you want him to feel better tell him, "man with a future, woman with a past" that should cheer him up.

[Gibzilla]

I'm sorry to hear you son is going through this. Speaking from my own experiences with losing the one person i honestly and truly loved. Its hard to accept a dramatic change in your life like that. The heart is a tricky thing to deal with especially when you think everything is how think it should be and want it to be you get blind sided. Unfortunately this happens to a lot of people.

I am sure that he will be able to get past it.....eventually. He just needs some time to reflect on it and come to terms with what has just happened. I have unfortunately have been down this road and some days are better then others.

I don't really have any advice for you to give him. Its just going to take time for him to deal with it.

[Gibzilla]

When people are away from each other their minds start to wander and play tricks on them. what they really felt so strongly about can change in a couple weeks, or even a couple days. As someone who has been on both ends of this stick, its such a confusing time. Ecspecially in College! Some people see a chance for freedom and think that that is what they want.....they want to test the waters. and then others are so content to be in the same thing forever and want nothing else than to be with that person......becasue they found what they want. they found "it". Unfortunatly, she might have just realized that she isnt ready to pick her life up and move....It isnt fair to your son, and i bet he had his heart set on her.

Tell him if you love something let it go, and if it comes back it was meant to be.....if not it wasnt right in the first place. Take the things that you learned from each other and try again....or dont try again, enjoy your freedom, make your life. Love hurts because it has to deal with your heart - but i think people sometimes forget that it is also human............When things are easy and comfortable realtionships are still hard. But if a relationship can be thrown a curve ball with something, such as a move, or distance - its next to impossible.........

I hope things work out the way they are meant to for him.....

I actually believe in this too.....and i am still waiting.

[perfectscore]

First, buy him a ticket for las vegas and put him up at the Hard Rock for the weekend. That should do it, but if by chance it doesn't this website should HAVE A SILENT AUCTION FOR HUBRIS'S little black book, I hear it is akin to Fonzi in happy days, just my two cents, i got my own problems