Headlines in 2029

[OCcaptain]

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .


White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.


George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces m ail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise are the keys to weight loss.


Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

< /SPAN>Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Abortion clinics now available in every
High School in United States .

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

[brokensheer]

the not too distant future, look what happenrd to Langley Park Maryland, its been a foreign country

[Squidnation]

the not too distant future, look what happenrd to Langley Park Maryland, its been a foreign country

thats funny that you mentioned langley park. My wife and i went out to lunch today here in salisbury. We use to live in silver spring and we were talking about how much we missed eating in Langly Park. Best cheap restuarants around. Wouldn't want to live their but a hell of a place to go try out different foods.

[OCcaptain]

Man are you scoring some quality time points or what? She had to be happy when we came in last night! We need to build them up now cuz it's gonna be a long winter and it's warm in the Marlin Club and Harborside

[whowantstoknow]

You both need to behave....your trip is right around the corner....

[Boston Whaler]

That's funny!

FYI - Not a joke but true.
Two weeks ago I had carpet put down in a couple of my bedrooms, all Mexicans.

Last week a white guy gave me an estimate to refinish my hardwood floors, two days later he dropped off a van full of Mexicans to do the job.

Thursday, I had a new outdoor faucet and plumbing installed. The white guy was here for about 5 minutes and left a Mexican to do the job.

Friday, I went down to my boat and the boat next to me had a bunch of Mexicans detailing it.

Sunday, I got home and my next door neighbor was having a large tree removed....by a bunch of Mexicans.

As I am typing this my other neighbor is having his lawn cut by.......you know the answer by now.

But I have to admit, never saw any of them stop working.

[brokensheer]

I was raised in Silver Spring, ( new hampshire ave and the beltway Oakview)and its not far from Langley in population

[KEY-LIME-PIE]

I graduated from Paint Branch High School. Used to hang out in Silver Spring all the time! Small world!

Tom