FAMOUS MOM & DAD ONE LINERS

[LuckyLady]

I was just giving myself a laugh when I remembered a saying we use to hear "all" the time as kids.

My dad was famous for those one liners. Anyone that knew him knew he had something to say, kind of like me Most of the time, friends would whisper to me and ask if he was being sarcastic or serious.

Anyway I wanted to share my favorite one of all time.

"His azz is grass and I am the lawnmower"

I just used it recently as a few minutes ago and it brought back a smile and the thought of getting our butt's beaten almost daily.

I could share lots of them, so I wanted to see what everyone else had. Everyone has had one at some point.

[canyongear]

"Gimmie the car keys..you might see em again at my dirtnap"

after a meek explanation why I was late bringing the car home..which was always an excuse for something to justify the time past the curfew..

This usually was usually followed by the famous words.."your kiddin me right?".."I wasn't born yesterday, you know"

[oldmud]

"If you think you have it bad, i use to walk 6 miles to school


















uphill ,................................... both ways !!

[oldmud]

From my DAD !!

"" I was so poor growing up if I wasn't a boy I'd have had nothing to play with"

[wishiniwasfishin69]

My dads favorite was go get me a beer. I always liked.... I brought you into this world, and I can take you out

[canyongear]

After a minor/major miscalculation in judgement one fine Saturday afternoon while in College..of not stopping for a N.H. local constable running radar..that led to a minor "chase" and eventual..get out of the car hands up..then jail..

about two weeks later..I get a phone call..from the old man.."I just got a phone call from the state troop here in town..that's my dealer plate on your car".

"What the F$%^..are you on Drugs"!

College days..sometimes thinking was not a pre-requisite of good decision making..that was an expensive one!

LoL..then the next day in Economics class, i get a paper back..I'll never forget this..written in red ink on the paper..

"I would have given you an A, but due to your lack of judgement your grade is an A-, radio waves travel at 286,000 miles per second, your car isn't that fast, trust me"

[Jesse Lockowitz]

my dads favorite....still hear it every now and again


If you mess with the bull, you get the horns boy!


i shoulda let that run through my mind a couple times before doing things

[canyongear]

This is a classic..

"Action Talks..Bullshit Walks"

"now go do it the right way"

[idigitu88]

The inspiration I got as a kid.
"Your softer than a sneaker full of shit in low tide."
"Why dont you find a short bridge and take a long walk."
"Why dont you go play in traffic." Just a few

[hunt4fish]

Wait til YOUR DADDY GET'S HOME,THEN YOUR ASS WILL THINK ABOUT IT!!!!

Don't make me smack your ass with what I got in my hand.. (and you never knew what that would be)

I'll beat your ass til your nose bleeds... This one was my fav...