FAMOUS MOM & DAD ONE LINERS

[joeksr]

Headin out with my Dad for some fluke fishing in an 18' skiff. Lots of boats but he kept going away from them. Yo Dad the boats are over there.

Boy, Ya wanna catch fish or fisherman.

We loaded the boat and I never made that statement again.

Cut my finger on one of his filet knives.
Went into a spiel about how I was Ok.
He let me finish and said.

I'm not your mother.

We went back to fishin

This was so long ago he just might have started the whole
" I'm not the momma" thing.

[joeksr]

Then there was fishing a head boat with My Son, Daughter and Dad for fluke. Conventional reels and she didn't keep her thumb on the spool. Nasty backlash.

She just looked up and said.

Dad, the reel got all fuzzy.

Good Thread.
Got me sittin here thinkin back about some good times.

[aloop]

My dad raised us on the Gospel... the Gospel of Bill Cosby and gave us quotes from old classic movies! One day after limiting out on Stripah's, (30 fish over 34" commercially,) I asked him "Are you a Master Builder or Master Butcher?" He answered and yelled, "Mater Butcher!"
When we asked our mom for anything we wanted, wanted to go to or whatever her reply was always "Maybe!" Maybe always meant "No!" When my brother and I asked our dad and if he said no, together we would start chirping "Cheap!, Cheap! Cheap!, Cheap!, Cheap!" My dad still likes to remind us of that!

[Reelscreamer]

Boy I will put my foot so far up your a$$ you will have to unlace my boot to swallow.... and Boy it is bout time you use your head for something besides a hat rack!

Jeremy

[Dave Sikorski]

While being disciplined one day....

Me: "I'm calling the police, this is child abuse"
Dad: "Go for it, I'll have you dead before they get here"

-D

[ahicapt]

Here's a couple I remember growing up from dear old dad.

"It's mind over matter, I don't mind and you don't matter"

"C**K and Balls of a man but the brains of a child"

Those were days.. RIP Pop's

[Big Fish Billy]

From my grandmother, after rapping my brand new 1973 442 around a tree, due to feeling the urge to finish my Christmas present jug of Wild Turkey in one sitting:

"As fast as you drive and as hard as you try, you'll never move faster than your little Guardian Angel can fly."

Guess she was right......

[Marlinmate]

I'm 17 and just unloaded the car for my first day/night of college. Mom's in tears and Dad's helping me build my bunk.
Chicks are walking by in the hall and I'm caught staring.
Dad(minister) says "Son, when you are in the ring, keep your gloves on at all times"

First and last talk ever about sex ed.

I still laugh at the look on my mom's face.

[clt_capt]

One of my father's favorites - "It takes more than size to be a man"

[erg153]

Whenever I would ask my mom "Why?" her reply was always:

"Your's is not to ask why, your's is just to do"

And if I didn't do... The next thing was the threat of a "knuckle sandwich."