Dr Shoe's Medical Advice

[shoefish]

I just had this passed on to me and I think that it is extrememly valueabe for you to read this...your health may depend on it


HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it.. Don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.



Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.



Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!



Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.



Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!



Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: You're not listening...Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?



Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.



Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around! !



Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.



Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! !



Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"

[Randy Stinchcomb]

Shoe, great advice looks like I live by a few of them

now....do you have any suggestions on, say ....Cabin Fever or Sodium Deficiency which some of our member seems to-be stricken wth lately

[Redfish44]

Thanks I needed that chuckle today.

[Wild Life Management]

Great advice shoe. I wasn't gonna have a drink, but it is after noon, and since you said it's ok, I'm havin a cocktail.

[ejstenger]

Boy, have you hit my lifestyle right. I try to enjoy myself every way that I can.

[GALAZIO]

aaahhhhhhh... well on my way!

[hubris 1]

i tried to make this point last week in the heart defibrillator thread. i struggled with finding the right words and eventually had to give up. the only thing i think you missed is vodka. since its tasteless it's not really booze. thanks for the clarification.

[Seaker]

My new strength and conditioning coach

Freakin loved every bit of it

[HOLWACHAGOT]

I need you to call and explain something to my wife. She is a nurse and has been given some poor information....I am certain you can help me help her understand. She is under the impression that those boxes of Little Debbie Snacks that are 99 cents a box are bad for you. Could you please elaborate in medical terms why Nutty Bars, Swiss Cake rolls, and Star Crunches will benefit my health. She is trying to cut my weekly allowance for them to 100 dollars. The Horror! That's only 96 boxes a week when you factor in tax. I'm likely to wither away here.
Holwachagot

[clt_capt]

Vodka is made of potatoes - But Starchy foods are part of a balanced diet