Describe Your Absolutely Worst Drunk and Hangover

[longfisher]

I'll start.

I was a Freshman at Texas A&M. Because of some funny business about my birthdate being late in the summer I was but 17 when I first got there and didn't have anywhere near enough experience with the fruit of the vine.

If you don't know, A&M has something called Midnight Yell Practice on the Friday immediately before a Saturday game and the ritual is, well, drinking until you can't stand up and then engaging in waves in the stands while linking arms with other Aggie underclassmen. Lots of drunken falls.

Well, A&M was then in a dry county. So, I and my fellow underclassmen had to drive abotu 25 miles to the county line to pick up some liquor. There's several liquor stores right on the county line tha cater to Aggies.

When we got there all the light stuff was gone. So, it was Remy Martin, Glen Merangie and other "good stuff". All very potent. By the time we traveled the 25 miles in the opposite direction we could hardly see.

Frankly, I didn' really make it all the way to the Yell Practice. I recall very little but for having stumbled along with what must have been a huge stream of humanity streaming towards the stadium...until I ran smack dab into a scrub oak tree and fell on the pavement splitting my lip. Of course, both blood and uproarious laughter was everywhere.

Somehow I stumbled back to my dorm (Keathley) and fell into my bed still bleeding. I've never been that passout since.

I barely awoke a few times during the night and the only thing I could sense was an absolutely awful gastronomic smell and something that smelled sweet. In the morning it all, well sort of, made sense. I'd pucked my guts up in the bed, directly on the pillow it seems where my head rested, and in the puck was a huge wad of chewing gum I'd swallowed during the ride back from the liquor store as we didn't have anything else to eat.

The gum was utterly irretrievably stuck in my hair...everywhere. And, I do mean every where. I'd likely swum the Atlantic in all that puke that night as it was, everywhere.f

About noon the greasy smell of the nearby mess hall (Sebesa I think it was called) came through the window of my dorm room and I began what seemed like an eternity of dry heaves, again in my bed. I was still too drunk to even stand.

About 3 p.m. I had the courage to sit up. I couldn't believe the state I was in. I looked like something that the waste water treatment plant had rejected. I took a shower, threw my clothes away and then sat on my bed opposite the mirror with a pair of those elementary school sizzors and cut away what seemed like mountains of gun stuck hair...from everywhere.

Thank God for baseball caps.

Nearer dinner time, I walked haltingly towards Sebesa dining hall for dinner. About half the way there there was a fountain with benches. I was really hungry but the smell of grease was, again, overpowering. I sat down and my head swirled and swirled and swirled. Finally, I had to dry heave again...this time into the fountain.

Then it was time to go home and clean up the bed.

I never ever did anything like that again. BECAUSE MY TOLERANCE INCREASED WITH PRACTICE.

Anyway, let's hear your tales of misbegotten youth and it's tangles with the vine.

LF

[JOHN LAMOUR]

the only i thing i can say - is never ever slip a roofie into your own drink -you may wake up next morning next a plunger handle and sore asss......................

[fredhead]

I served for 20 years in the Navy. Never was a big drinker, at least compared to some of my shipmates. But there was one night I'd never forget, if I could remember it.

Winter of 1981 and I was serving on the aircraft carrier USS Nimitz. The ship was anchored out in the bay in Naples, Italy. I went ashore one morning around 1000 (that's 10 o'clock). I had the sniffles when I left the ship, felt like a cold coming on, so I decided that I would drink screwdrivers (vodka and OJ) that day. Kept a nice buzz on all day but didn't really get drunk. Until that night when I ended up in the infamous San Francisco Bar. And I saw bottles of vodka with "Product of U.S.S.R." on the label. So I started drinking screwdrivers made with Russian vodka. Not sure how many I drank, but at one point I decided it was time to head back to the ship.

I stepped out of the bar, turned toward Fleet Landing (where the ship's boats docked) took two steps and................

Woke up the next morning in my bunk on the ship. I have no idea how I got there. Can't remember a thing.

NEVER DRANK RUSSIAN VODKA AGAIN. NOPE. NEVER.

[Avenger]

But you never caught that cold, did you?!

I keep telling the best catch that alcohol kills germs but she pooh-poohs it. Oh really? So I ask her how come she gets sick every year and I don't? Uh, huh.

When they want to give you a shot they sterilize your arm. I can tell you for a fact that they don't rub chicken soup on it.

[Deep C]

Early 80's... Night of July 2nd... Knew I was booked for 4th of July so planned on getting plowed bad that night and sleep it off the next day the 3rd... Rock and rolled through all the Islamorada clubs and really wasn't dented. Partook of some extracurricular substances and went to work on a 1.75 liter bottle of Bacardi... It was getting light when I finally crashed and burnt.
I was a heavy drinker back then and merciful purging of the system would not be in the cards. The room spun big time as I drifted off into the black of near poisoning alcohol induced coma. I was nearing that abyss when the phone rang... It was my dockmaster from the marina saying she had just booked me for a trip...
"You're kidding... I'm toast... Somebody else has to take it..."
"Big group. Booked all the available boats... Get your butt down here NOW!"
Jesus! The world spun and went by in double vision... I parked behind my boat and saw guests already aboard. I hurt too bad to even say hello as I took my perch on the bridge. I mushed the start buttons, signaled to my mate to untie, turned into the channel and throttled up.
About that time the vomiting that wouldn't come before was making it known it was about to arrive. I kept a five gallon bucket of tools on my bridge and proceeded to dump out the tools. I put my head through the handle and the bucket hung sort of like a feed bag does on a horse... I began getting rid of all eight zillion cocktails from the night before...
I remember pulling the throttles back when the water got blue. I remember a sail right out of the gate and setting course to 150 degrees. I don't remember much else except turning around at about 2 PM and aiming at the channel.
I do remember docking. I do remember the people thanking me and paying me. As the mate tossed a couple dozen dolphin on the dock though I had no clue how or when they got there...
I got through I guess on some kind of instinctive auto pilot mode. I got away with it but that didn't make it right. I was disgusted and embarassed with myself and I swore to never be talked into running my boat or any other in that condition that day.I continued to drink for another almost twenty years but I never went back on that oath to myself about running the boat in unfit condition. Cost me a few trips over the years but at least I didn't compromise safety or professionalism for a quick dollar.
Now sober over a decade I use moments like that to keep my resolve to never go back to how it was... I don't miss it a bit...

[captnemo]

I'll start.

I was a Freshman at Texas A&M.

can you juggle?

[fredhead]

But you never caught that cold, did you?!

I keep telling the best catch that alcohol kills germs but she pooh-poohs it. Oh really? So I ask her how come she gets sick every year and I don't? Uh, huh.

When they want to give you a shot they sterilize your arm. I can tell you for a fact that they don't rub chicken soup on it.

No I didn't get the cold. Was it the vodka, or the orange juice? Alcohol and vitamin C.

[Big Fish Billy]

I find alcohol doesn't affect me.....

[longfisher]

Glad it worked out for you.

LF

[TimW Texas]

I can't remember, and I have no idea who these clothes are either that I have on And that is why I have over 21 years sober