Daughters and Single Dads

[Glenn W]

Actually, I started to write about my newest brilliant move, but decided to incorporate it into this thread.
I'm a single dad raising 2 kids (life is good), 18 yr old redneck son (wonder where he got that from?), 15 yr old daughter (the Queen). Lately the Queen has been on my ass as bad as her mother ever was--- "you're such a slob", "this house is like a hunting & fishing lodge that was hit by Katrina", "you look like a rag picker, you spend ungodly amounts on hunting & fishing equipment and your wardrope looks like you're from Anson County, NC" (well I am, but I know what she meant).
" Just look at this house, the only pictures on the walls are stupid ducks, and some tackey Marlin prints your buddy in Morehead gave you"

"Alright Ms hooty tooty, those are signed Be Forbes prints, I'll have you know, but I get your drift."

So we decided to pick up the house and make it more-- " livable"
First order of business was getting the fishing rods out of the living room and into the garage--- I hope they'll be ok, in that dark cold place.

Second order of business was picking up all the guns in the living room (the last ex made me get rid of the gun cabnet--- said it looked like we were from Anson County, NC. I'll get to the rest of this story in a minute.

Third order was wallpaper the Kitchen. So the Queen and I run up to Lowes to get some wallpaper. She starts looking through catalogs like it was a Montgomery Ward wishbook.
"Oh no, we are picking something out that is in stock and getting it today"

Jimminy Crickets, We were arguing over wallpaper choices in the Lowes just like the other two married couples there looking at paper. Ended up getting 2 gallons of Antique White paint and pure white for the walls.

Back to order of business #2. Well, since I don't have a gun cabinet anymore and need to have a place to keep the guns, I went out and bought a gun safe to put in my closet in my bedroom. Ok, that wasn't too hard (pretty damn expensive though). 20 gun capacity, fire proof, the whole 9 yds. The guys at Tractor Supply loaded it in the truck for me with the fork lift. I haven't mentioned the sombich weighs 564 lbs. Bought it last night and it is still in the bed of the truck--- how in the world am I going to get this thing out of the truck, let alone up 2 flights of stairs?. Guns are resting against the couch and love seat till we get this little enginneering problem worked out.

[gottaflylee]

Glenn, Do not put the gun cabinet up stairs...it may come down to the first floor level on its own. Happen to a friend of mine...came home and all his guns were in his basement along with what was left of his new gun cabinet. Worst part besides having to get a new gun cabinet was fixing 2 very large holes in the floors and ceilings of the house. Keep it in the garage!

[Glenn W]

Glenn, Do not put the gun cabinet up stairs...it may come down to the first floor level on its own. Happen to a friend of mine...came home and all his guns were in his basement along with what was left of his new gun cabinet. Worst part besides having to get a new gun cabinet was fixing 2 very large holes in the floors and ceilings of the house. Keep it in the garage!

Actually Lee, I was thinking in one aspect. When I built the house 7 yrs ago, I reinforced the floor in my bedroom closet with 2 extra joists just in case I ever did put such a thing in there.

[Tuna Taxi]

Go back to Lowes and rent a refrigerator dolly. You and the 18yo redneck get on the working end of the dolly and pull it up the stairs. Keep the Queen nearby because when you tear yourself a new hernia, or knock a nice hole in a feshly painted wall, you'll need someone to yell at.

I'd give you an engineering solution, but it is going to involve some heavy equipment, a hole in the side of the house, and possibly a chainsaw or an industrial-strength sawzall (not that it will help with the safe, but I like to cut stuff).

If you need help, let me know. I won't yell at the Queen, and I'll make sure 18 pulls his weight! (and I've got an engine hoist that will get it out of the truck for you).

[JD5652]

Glenn-

Appears you didn't quite think this thing through...anyway...my solution....I'm sure you have a place in Richmond where all the "day workers" (trying to be PC here...) hang out. Stop by there and round you up 3 or 4. On your way home, stop and get that dolly Bill was talking about. Right before you get to the house, stop and get a case (or two) of Coronas. While our freshly hired laborers try to understand what the hell you're trying to do...have yourself 3 or 4 cold ones....on yea...make sure you make them understand that once they have the gun cabinet in place...THEN...they too can have a Corona.

Make sure the Queen is outta sight or you might end up having a little latin grand baby in a few months...... oh yea....18 can be the supervisor...does he know any Spanish??........

Flip the boys $40 (for all of them)....take them to the closest bus station....and tell them that you have many...many guns.....if they show up around the ranch ever again.....

Outsource man!...it's the latest rage!!