Dammit

[johnnydeep]

it really does help...
It really does!
My wife is my rock, but I have to stay strong for her...
We talk about this stuff but its really hard on her, so its cool to have another venue...
I wish I could convey how much it means
Now I am going to suck it up, go to bed, and get up at 430 to go back to work!
Life does not stop just because I had a bad day!
Thanks again!

[Ace1st]

Hey Johnny.... just thought I'd say hello. Just remember, everyday with your family and friends is a good day! Enjoy each day and be sure to make the best of it. You are in our thoughts and our prayers. Good luck to you.

[Tricia Lynn]

Power of the Mind !!!! You body is built to heal itself , keep the faith and believe in the power of your mind. Keep your head high and believe

[johnnydeep]

a few of you wanted updates so since I lurk around all the time I figured its the least I could do.

First of all thank you.
Having a place to vent a bit really does make it easier, especially with all the support here!

After I got the Diagnoses that things were going to hell and that all I really have left for treatment is compassionate use clinical trials ( this shit will kill me and we can try stuff thats not approved yet) My wife and I decided that before we started another round of treatment that she needed a vacation. Our last vacation was to HI when I asked here to marry me after 5 years together...may 2005!
We got married on April fools day 2007 in Vegas...August 07 was when the shit hit the fan.
So we decided on Cabo for a vacation. We have a timeshare and we could use it to stay at the Playa Grande which is part of the Sol Mar group. There are a few pics on my blog...beutiful place. At the end of the week we extended Saturday and Sunday night and stayed on the beach at The Sol mar Suites, a half hour move, What a place...where Cabo sport fishing started!
Any way on short notice we had 10 friends show up and spend at least a couple of days with us.
Its funny but when you get sick like this you really do find out who your real Friends are! How in the world I ever got to know so many really good people I have no idea. It sure helps me to know that even if I don't make it my wife and son will be surrounded by them!
One thing that all this has done for me is make me more patient. Especially with my son. I guess I want him to have as many good memories as possible, so I am working harder to be a better dad. Something I should have done long ago...
So maybe thats the silver lining to all this.

On the brighter side the clinical trial that I started on Wednesday seems to be getting better and better. The longer it runs the more results they are having with it. It is by far the best thing yet for Melanoma. I wont get to excited yet though...impressive against melanoma means that it is working for 15% to 20% of the people in the trial. That number seems to be slowly climbing the longer the trial runs though. This could lead to a breakthrough. Ad if it means I get to live with this crap, and the quality of life is good, or until they can find a cure...I'm in. Seems that worst that can happen is I could wind up with massive liver failure...I am willing to take that risk. If I don't I know how it ends!

[Team Boat Show Direct]

Prayers do get answered, you are in ours!

[Crazy Eyes]

Without a doubt we are praying for you johnnydeep and your approach sounds like you are dealing with the worst of situations with positive actions. Let the positive thoughts and prayers roll.

[Captain Michael Buffington]

Your story is tragic so far and I have tons of respect for you making the best of a terrible situation. My thoughts are as follows; You have a loving family and the opportunity to show your son both the compassion and strength a good man is capable of under the worst of circumstances and that is one lesson he will never forget. Take him fishing as much as possible and take care of what needs taking care of. Stay as positive as you can and we will all pray for your health and well being. If god forbid it all goes south you will have given him lasting memories of what a man should and can be for him to base his own life upon. You are in my prayers my friend!

Mike

[SeaBiscuit]

Welcome back Johny. Glad you, your wife and friends had a good time down in Cabo.
Great news about the promise of the drug you are trying. We all hope and pray that it works, not only for you, but for all the folks who find themselves in your shoes.
SeaBiscuit

[HOLWACHAGOT]

Your story is tragic so far and I have tons of respect for you making the best of a terrible situation. My thoughts are as follows; You have a loving family and the opportunity to show your son both the compassion and strength a good man is capable of under the worst of circumstances and that is one lesson he will never forget. Take him fishing as much as possible and take care of what needs taking care of. Stay as positive as you can and we will all pray for your health and well being. If god forbid it all goes south you will have given him lasting memories of what a man should and can be for him to base his own life upon. You are in my prayers my friend!

Mike

Well said.

You are in my family's prayers. Please keep strong and postive in the face of this disease. Do not let it take your willpower to think positive. I truly believe that if you stay positive you will leave a lasting impression on those that know you that could help them in the future. More importantly positive thinking will help your body overcome. Easier said then done I realize, but you are already on your way to winning this fight. You have a lot of people pulling for you.
Holwachagot

[Anngler]

i'm sending up my prayers for you and your family.

the positive thoughts are the ones that will get you through this. whenever i whine or complain about not getting my way or having to do something that doesn't sound fun, my dad always tells me, "You have to look at the bright side of everything and make the best out of it." And when you think about it, we're all so whiney and obnoxious about the little things in our lives that really make it all worth while.

you're in all of our prayers