Craigs List personal Ad

**LuckyLady** · 03-07-2011 10:00 AM

AN ACTUAL

CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy

Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah

night before last.
Date:

2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the

guy wearing the black Burberry

jacket that you demanded that I hand over,

shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my

girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also

asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I

can only hope that you somehow come across this

rather important message.
First, I'd like to

apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't

expect you to actually crap in your pants when I

drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The

evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the

jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just

bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP

pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a

shoulder holster for it that very evening.

Obviously you agree that it is a very

intimidating weapon when pointed at your head

... Isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't

fun walking back to wherever you'd come from

with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure

it was even worse walking bare-footed since I

made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and

wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling

or running to your buddies to come help mug us

again].
After I called your mother

or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I

explained the entire episode of what you'd done.

Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as

those of four other people in the gas station,

-- on your credit card. The guy with the big

motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely

grateful!
I gave your shoes to a

homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along

with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his

day!]
I then threw your wallet

into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked

at the curb .... After I broke the windshield

and side window and keyed the entire driver's

side of the car
Later, I called a bunch of

phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell

just now shut down the line, although I only

used the phone for a little over a day now, so

what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed

to get in two threatening phone

calls to the DA's office and one to

the FBI, while mentioning President Obama

as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really

intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess

while he traced your number

etc.).
;In a way, perhaps I should

apologize for not killing you ... But I feel

this type of retribution is a far more

appropriate punishment for your threatened

crime. I wish you well as you try to sort

through some of these rather immediate pressing

issues, and can only hope that you have the

opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps

reconsider, the career path you've chosen to

pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might

not be so lucky.Have a good

day!
Thoughtfully

yours,
Kevin

C