Originally Posted by
getreel
I am a private person and try and keep my emotions in check, but the frustration level is building to the point were I am afraid I might snap. Getting this off my chest may help. Sorry in advance for not providing a fishing related topic. Please don’t read any further if that is what you are looking for.
My wife (Kristen) is having a recurrence of breast cancer at age 42. After undergoing three surgeries, chemo/radiation just two year ago, the cancer is back with a vengeance. Further scans and biopsies revealed that the breast cancer has metastasized (Stage IV) and she has two tumors in her liver. The initial treatment approach was to try and contain the cancer with endocrine (hormone) therapy by starving it. The philosophy was to not make the treatment worse than the disease and monitor it. This went on for a few months.
She had another set of CT scans done at Mass General Hospital, and the report was not good. The most desirable outcome would have been evidence that the endocrine therapy was starving the tumors and they were shrinking, or at least not growing. Unfortunately the cancer has spread aggressively. The tumors in her liver have doubled in size, new tumors have appeared and the cancer has spread to her lungs and bones. She immediately started a weekly chemo regimen. We are fortunate to have facilities like Mass General Hospital close to us. We have trust in her oncologist and Kristen is doing everything she can through macrobiotic diet, acupuncture, meditation and her faith to beat this. She tolerates the chemo well and in general feels okay. She is a stronger person than I and continues to maintain a positive attitude. The stress is getting to her, but she still smiles.
I have been fishing through this and trying to repress the thought of what could be. The thought of never seeing Kristen again, of never touching her or hearing the sound of her voice, is overwhelming. We have two girls ages 12 and 9 who love and need their mother. What is most painful for me is the knowledge that she may not be around to see our children grow. Being a mother and watching our children grow is her dream. She is a wonderful mother who gives so much of herself with no regrets. When they say that things happen for a reason, I can not agree. Kristen is the most selfless person I have ever met. She donates her time at our children’s school, teaches Sunday school, coordinates and teaches a week-long vacation bible school, goes to church every Sunday, is active in raising money for cancer research and I could go on, she even helps me provision the boat for fishing trips.…..She has touched the lives of many and serves as an inspiration to all who know her and what she is going through. She is my hero!
Kristen and I have been together for over twenty-three years and are in our 18th year of marriage. A journey with no regrets and with hope and prayers will continue for a long time to come. I would be lost without her. Hopefully this round of chemo will knock this into remission long enough for a cure to be found. We have not lost hope, but the word terminal now has a reality in our life. This helpless feeling is the most sickening thing in the world. I can’t take seeing her sad and concerned for our children.
Sorry for the long read. If you have read this far, my only request is you say a simple silent prayer for Kristen and to all those affected by cancer. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. This is one of those things that you could never imagine would be happening to you.
Sincerely,
Will
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