January.........Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February........Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Hellloooo!!! Bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March............Got really excited - finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months. Box said "2-4 years!"

April...............Trapped on escalator for hours, power went out!!!

May................Tried to make Kool-Aid. Wrong instructions. 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June................Tried to go water skiing. Couldn't find a lake with a slope .

July..................Lost breast stroke swimming competition. Learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August...............Got locked out of my car in rain storm. Car swamped because soft-top was open.

September...........The capital of California is "C", isn't it???

October................Hate M & M's. They are so hard to peel.

November..............Baked turkey for 4 days. Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

December..............Couldn't call 911. There's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!