Blonde Mortician

[OUTCAST1]

The widow brought her deceased husband to the Blonde Mortician.

Widow: "He always said he wanted to be buried in a blue suit...so here's my blank check to pay for it."

The next day the widow returned to find her husband laid out in a beautiful blue suit.

Widow: "Thank you so much, he looks wonderful."

Blonde Mortician: "And you get your check back...I didn't need it."

Widow: "What?"

Blonde Mortician: "Another widow brought her husband in for burial. He was wearing a blue suit and was about same size as your husband. I asked her if she minded if he was buried in a nice grey suit, and she said that would be fine....
SO I JUST SWAPPED THE HEADS!!"

[CalabashFishman]

I dont know if you all have seen this one. Its pretty funny


Death on Vacation

During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalam, George's mother-in-law died.

With death certificates in hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the states for proper burial.

The Consul, after hearing of the death of the
mother-in-law told George that the sending of a body back to the states for burial is very, very expensive. It could cost as much as $5,000.00.

The Consul continues, in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here. This would only cost $150.00.

George thinks for some time and answers, "I don't care how much it will cost to send the body back; that's what I want to do."

The Consul, after hearing this, says, "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much consdering the difference in price."

"No, it's not that," says George. "You see, I know of a case years ago of a person that was buried here in Jerusalem. On the third day he arose from the dead !

I just can't take that chance.