Blond and the Alligator

[Surfergirl]

"I got a new fly rod and reel for my husband
...best trade I ever made"



Blonde And The Alligator
A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar and turned to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside.Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink." The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of it's head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genital, unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A Blonde woman timidly spoke up, "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."

[hunt4fish]

[Stripersniper]

Great to see you around again Surf. I miss the jokes!!

[Cardinal Joe]

Nice !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ejstenger]

Thank goodness, You're back. good one. HA!HA!

[Surfergirl]

A woman goes into Wal-mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-mart associate standing there with dark glasses on. She asks, "Excuse me sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am I'm blind, but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it all on the counter anyway. He said "That's a 6' graphite rod with Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line. It's a good all around rod and reel, and it's $20." She says, "That's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for, so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register. And in the meantime, the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed, but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was she. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50." She asks, "But didn't you say it was $20?" He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20, the duck call is $3, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50!"

[Surfergirl]

In January 1994, at the Lake Como Fish and Game Club near Syracuse, N.Y., Brian Carr beat out three dozen competitors in the annual ice-fishing derby, with 155 catches. The temperature that day was minus 30, and the prize money for the top three anglers was $8, $6.50, and $5.

[Surfergirl]

A fisherman was fishing a lake that he has never had any luck on. But this day he was catching a fish it seemed on every other cast. When he was done for the day he had caught way too many fish over the limit but he decided he would keep them all even though he would be breaking the law. Half way home the Game Warden pulls him over and asks him to see his fish. When the man shows the warden the fish the Warden yells you have caught too many!! The fisherman says calmly "those are not fish out of the lake" he states they are his pet fish and everyday he lets them go in the lake to feed. The Warden not believing this says then how do you get them back. The fisherman says he whistles and the jump into his boat one by one. Well the Warden having heard every excuse says he just has to see this. The Warden and the fisherman both head out on the lake and stop in a cove. The Warden tells him to let the fish go, and cooperating the man lets all his fish go. After a couple minutes pass, the Game Warden tells him to whistle and get the fis back. Very calmly the fisherman replies "What Fish."

[Surfergirl]

A man is out in his row boat when suddenly a passing speed boat raises huge waves and the man's oars fall overboard! He is stranded out in the middle of the lake!

After about two hours, he sees another row boat going by with a man and two women in it! The first man yells, "Hey buddy, can I borrow one of your oars?" The other man yells back, "They're not whores ... they're my sisters!"

[ejstenger]

Thank goodness you're back. Love your jokes and haven't heard from you in a while.