Banned from Walmart

[seabass]

Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that he go with
> her to Walmart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get
in
> and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to
her
> from the store.
>
> Dear Mrs. Fenton,
> Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
> commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both
of
> you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video
> surveillance equipment.
> All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below. Things Mr. Bill
Fenton has done
> while his spouse was shopping in Walmart:
>
> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
> people's carts when they weren't looking.
>
> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.
>
> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
restrooms.
>
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in
> housewares... and watched what happened.
>
> 5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.
>
> 6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
>
> 7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers
> he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
>
> 8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him him, he begins to cry
> and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
>
> 9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and
> picked his nose.
>
> 10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk
> if he knows where to find the antidepressants.
>
> 11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "
> Mission Impossible" theme.
>
> 12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using
> different size funnels.
>
> 13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
> yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
>
> 14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
> assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices
again!!!!"
>
> And last, but not least ...
>
> 15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then
> yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here !

[SARGENT OF ARMS]

STOP !! MY SIDES HURT !!

[tags11]

thats absolutely hilarious!

[Fluka Brasi]

I have no idea why I laughed at any of them... but I did.

[SharkJP]

off to walmart to try a few

[makokiller975]

[flatbottom]

seabass that is the best I have heard inawhile....blaaaaa still laughing

I can see sharkJP trying some of those....blaaaaaaa........

[gradywhite273]

Speaking of Walmart, heres one, this is a true story, my ex brother in law took his kids to walmart, they all went their separte ways in the store, next thing you know he gets paged to the front of the store. Here his youngest son got in the ice machine by the registers and was making faces at the cashiers. i know the kid could have hurt himself, though luckily he didn't , but is funny when you get past that.

Tim

[matey8941]

haha they are great....im going to try someof them for sure

[BrothaBob]

bahahahaha......we'll laying laughing away......this one is going to make rounds amongst my email lists.......