Bad Day @ Hallmark..



Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day...




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M y tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!




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H eard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it;

She moved in with me.




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L ooking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

'What the hell was I thinking?'





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C ongratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.




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H ow could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?




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I 've always wanted to have
someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.




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Must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.





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A s the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.





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C ongratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.



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H appy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky , West Virginia &, of course, Lodi )




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H appy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!





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W hen we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.




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W e have been friends for a very long time...

let's say we stop?



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I 'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.





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C ongratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?



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Y our friends and I wanted to do


something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.



))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))



So your daughter's a hooker,



and it spoiled your day.



Look at the bright side,



it's really good pay.