2006 darwin award nominees

[Miles Offshore]

In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of
>>water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer
>>grate
>>to
>>retrieve his car keys.
>>
>>****************************************
>>
>>A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he
>>ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily
>>run.
>>
>>****************************************
>>
>>Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had
>>dug
>>into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel
>>Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and
>>had
>>been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when
>>it
>>collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach,
>>on
>>the outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their
>>way
>>to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It
>>took
>>rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him
>>while
>>about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a
>>hospital.
>>
>>**********************************************
>>
>>Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell
>>face-first
>>through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death
>>was
>>caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep
>>his
>>hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
>>
>>**************************************************
>>
>>Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he
>>won
>>a
>>bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with
>>four
>>bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
>>
>>*******************************************
>>The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree in Washington,
>>DC
>>appeared to be the robber's first (and last), due to his lack of a
>>previous record of violence, and his terminally stupid choices:
>>
>>1. His target was H&J Leather & Firearms, A gun shop specializing
>>in
>>handguns.
>>
>>2. The shop was full of customers - firearms customers.
>>
>>3 To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police
>>patrol car parked at the front door.
>>
>>4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee
>>before
>>work. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a
>>hold-up,
>>and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.
>>
>>The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, the police officer
>>with
>>a9mm GLOCK 17, the clerk with a 50 DESERT EAGLE, assisted by
>>several
>>customers who also drew their guns, several of whom also fired. The
>>robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics.
>>
>>Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in
>>the
>>shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics
>>identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt in
>>the
>>exchange of fire.
>>
>>************************************************
>>
>>HONORABLE MENTION:
>>
>>Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his
>>wife
>>Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter- stick of dynamite blew up
>>in
>>their car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the
>>dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would
>>happen,
>>but apparently failed to notice the window was closed.
>>
>>***********************************************
>>
>>RUNNER UP: TACOMA, WA.
>>
>>Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of
>>them
>>said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma
>>Narrows
>>Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated
>>and
>>at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM.
>>Upon
>>arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one
>>had
>>brought a bungee rope.
>>
>>Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out
>>that
>>a
>>coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was
>>secured
>>around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His
>>fall
>>lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at
>>the
>>ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy salt water
>>and
>>was
>>rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say" said Bingham, is
>>that
>>God was watching out for me on that night. There's just no other
>>explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located.
>>
>>************************************************** ***********
>>
>>AND THE WINNER:
>>
>>Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed
>>his
>>constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more
>>that
>>a
>>bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm
>>finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of
>>poop!
>>Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give
>>the
>>ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded
>>on
>>him. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation
>>knocked
>>Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and
>>lay
>>unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top
>>of
>>him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. With
>>no
>>one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an
>>hour
>>before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated.
>>It
>>seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves..."****
>>happens."
>>
>>
>>Thank you very much.

[Captain Jay Kavanagh]

Thats some funny Stuff.

Glad to see We made the List.....

Buxton that is.

[rich]

That is hilarious. Who in the world would rob a gun store with that many customers in it.

[Miles Offshore]

gotta love the guy trying to rob the gun store and i too was glad to see buxton making the list,lolol