HUMDINGER shows his STUFF

**Ace1st** · 07-21-2008 03:23 PM

Back during Turkey Season... HUMDINGER, (thats what we call him cause thats what he is) called me and said he was coming to Myrtle Beach on Vacation. Wanted to know was there any TOM TOMS in that part of the country. Well, I figured I could locate him one if need be and invited him to come by the farm.

He showed up.... a little late, looking like a MR. MOSSEY OAK....I mean he had it all. I figured it was the Krispy Kreme Donuts and Sausage Biscuit stop he made on the way that messed up his sense of timing. But what was worse was that he failed to bring his host one.

UUUUH OOOOH!! Well, I went on with him to the pasture. I gave him the layout of the area and told where we should setup. Get a load of this, he starts telling me where he should setup.

Haha....I gotta see this! So hear we go, BUTTER BALL BUSTER strikes out for a ridge where he thought Ole' Tom would intersect with his Pretty Young Thang Decoy. He breaks out a new box call that he'd won at one of them NWTF Banquets and starts to talkin. Talk Talk Talk he did and ole Tom just flew out the Cypress Tree and went straight for the spot that I'd originally planned to setup.

HUMDINGER looks at me and says

"That BIRDS been hunted before". "This calls for drastic Measures!" YOU THINK...........its only the last day of the season HUMDINGER.... theres a good chance hes heard one of those before. You gonna have to step up your game a bit.

....if you wanted a easy hunt you shoulda told me and I'd let you setup on GRANNIES CHICKEN PEN. Theres an old gobble gobble in there she'd let you take a whack at. He'd be easy to call in! HUMDINGER was hotter than a two dollar pistol, he done rolled his eyes at me and said "We'll do it your way, Knew I shoulda #$%^ went over there.....me and my $#@^ ideas.

So, I then took him the long way around and setup under this plateau just under the Hay Field. On the walk thru, he kept mumbling but I couldn't understand what he was saying. I figured it was those Lemon Filled Donuts and that Sausage and Egg Buscuit that he had eaten earlier that was talkin to him.

Serves him right...not bringing me one and all.

I had already seen OLE TOM TOM out there shaken a leg by the pond but HUMDINGER was too busy tellin me about all these TURKEY HUNTS he'd been on. I done called this and I done killed that............OK MR OSCEOLA...you got one more chance to show me but it better be good!! I sat him down on a stump and then crawled out to the edge to put PRETTY YOUNG THANG out in plain view.

Upon crawling back I told HUMDINGER to gimmee his best. Cause I ddint wanta hear no excuses! He fumbled around in his pocket and said I'll try!

I wont let you down! I wont you know he pulled out a diaphram call, a box call and a slate call. Shoot I didnt know the boy had it in him. He went to talkin, a chirpin and a jabberin and Man I gotta be Honest...... for a few minutes there youda thought Ole Toxey was sitting on that pine stump there beside me.

Just then I looked across that field and here comes the Hen running full blast to PRETTY YOUNG THANG

.............HUMDINGER starts getting a little CITED and said "you see that, shes a comin shes a comin". Low N Behold, Ole' TOM TOM breaks for her heals and pulls up the rear. At this moment they are both about 150 yards and closing fast like one of them Patriot Missiles.

I look over at HUMDINGER and notice his hands were a bit trembly. So being the Buddy that I am, I put my hand on his and told him to calm down......I promised him I wouldnt let that GOBBLER eat him and it would be alright.

He made some statement through that Diaphram call that didnt sound like no Turkey Hen chirpin, so I hushed up for fear of ruinin the moment.

Now, Let me tell you boys, when I say that Hen was runnin.....thats an understatement....If she'd gone any faster she'd been flyin. HUMDINGER later stated it was because of his superior callin skills that she came to the call so fast

....I figured she was tired of Ole TOM and those two jakes tryin to talk her into a ALL DAY seccession of Hide The TURKEY WEENIE. She probably figured she could pass PRETTY YOUNG THANG off on them since she was looking so good and all, then she could slide outta site for some much needed rest.

Well...... whatever the reason, it worked....Ole GOBBLE GOBBLE spied PRETTY YOUNG THANG and he went to dancin like JAMES BROWN on crack.

Once again, I tried to calm HUMDINGER down but before I knew it..... he'd done beared down on that TOMS head and fired off one of them 3 and half inchers with that NEW NWTF GOBBLER SLAYER that he won at the Banquet. It nearly knocked me off the pine stump. He had killed that TOM deader than Bucket of breast at BOJANGLES.

Dang it ....now I was enjoyin watchin that turkey do the shuffle! As I looked over at BUTTERBALL BUSTER, he simply said, "well I told you so" "you didn't think I knew what I was doin, but i showed ya!"

Before I could get a word out he'd done jumped up and commenced to doin his own version of Dancin with the Stars.

I was dumbfounded for a few seconds there.........that boy dont look like much...........but he shore can dance!! I guess he did know what he was doin afterall!!

**WAHOONBOX** · 07-21-2008 07:09 PM

PROBABLY THE BEST REDNECKER STORY ON SFC TO DATE.....

I MUST SAY THIS ONE IS CLEVERLY WRITTEN

THANKS FOR SHARING!

**SeaBiscuit** · 07-21-2008 07:20 PM

Ace man, you are on a roll! Keep the SC farm adventures going. I've heard stories about you SC boys, but you are already topping most of them.
Love the style and literal picture painting!
SeaBiscuit